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The Bang Bang Theories


So… here we are in the middle of the first month of the new year and where actually are we?

My Mister and I jumped on a plane and took a quicky little trippy to Atlantic City last weekend, and I managed to feed my soul with a little bit of Sunset on the Beach, which should be a cocktail because I need that a whole lot more than I need Sex on the Beach, quite frankly.

What would a Sunset on the Beach drink actually contain?


I asked Almighty Google, because I thought for just a really cute minute that I came up with something original, but of course I did not, there ARE NO ORIGINAL IDEAS LEFT, EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF HAS ALREADY BEEN THUNK.

Sunset Beach recipe: 1 oz Mailbu Coconut Rum, 1 oz Blackberry Brandy, cranberry juice and pineapple juice to your liking. Garnish with orange slice and cherry.

I actually am naming my take on this to Sunset ON THE Beach and it would have a base of Carrabba’s Blackberry Sangria swirled with possibly something firey orangy and maybe a dash of pink, and blue curacao at the bottom to represent the ocean and now I have a brand new Resolution, to concoct the perfect Sunset on the Beach drink and you shall all be invited over to try them this summer.

I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but creating a brand new drink recipe is not what I even came here to tell you about – these blogs just create themselves, all organic from the hopscotch thoughts in my brain. Not Impressive, right? They seem so well thought-out.

What I did want to talk about is this:

For some damn reason, I downloaded the image above as a JANUARY RESOLUTION GOAL GETTER to get my life and home organized AF.

Now, where on that calendar does it list “Trip To AC to Lose $ and Eat Delish Food and See a Sunset on the Beach?”

Where does it note, “Invite a friend over for dinner and spend a random Thursday evening together?”

Where is the, “Write some stuff so your Reader has something to do other than Clean Out a Backpack or Wash Car?”

…”Play Cards with Friends on a Friday Night?”

…”Take a EFFING WALK OUTSIDE and get some fresh AIR, even in the cold?”

… “Call Your Dad.”

….”Meet a co-worker you haven’t seen in 20 years for lunch.” Which is what I’m doing in an hour.

What I’m getting at is the calendar above? Should be titled, “Resolutions That May Make You Slightly More Tidy For a Minute Before Everything Gets Messy Again, But Will Bring Your Month Zero Joy, Unless Your Name is Marie Kondo, Who Lives to Tidy.”

I have spent this moment with coffee re-evaluating my month of goals because the shit I download to try to focus on (see calendar above)? Sucks a dick.

Now, I did get busy with reorganizing and cleaning out my clothes closet. Because for Christmas I received The Best Gift Ever from My Mister and well, since I’m meeting a co-worker for lunch and I still need to shower, we can talk about in a bit.

But I will say one thing about that.  They allot that task to ONE day. One, Reader. Like we’re some kinda Hercules or something.

I started on my closet re-invention the first weekend of this new year and I still have bins of crap around my bedroom that haven’t found their new home yet. BECAUSE see all the other HAPPIER MAKING things I’ve been doing, such as friending and traveling and eating and cooking and right here, this.

Dumb calendars should not be allowed to rule your month, Reader. I think as soon as I’m done inventing my cocktail Sunset on the Beach, I’ll write a GOOD calendar of goals for February.  If I’m drunk from my SOB (I’ve already shorthanded my un-invented signature cocktail), all the better. Remember, we’re a no judgy zone. Kind of. Don’t judge ME, is really the zone I’m talking about.





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