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The Bang Bang Theories

Rituals & Resolutions

Well, we are 1/12 of the way through the New Year, and let’s take stock.

  1. Written words here twice.
  2. Far cry from my goal for the start of the year.
  3. However, in my defense, I believe I’m suffering from the SAD. I feel blue, and have felt blue for a while now.
  4. We had to make another difficult decision on the Big Sleep for one of my seven three kittens a couple weeks ago. Our poor girl, Sammy, was just withering away before our eyes. She had the cancer, and we’d been trying to treat it to make her more comfy and it just wasn’t working any longer. I am grateful I learned about the affordable at-home service, if there is a bright spot. She was able to sit on my lap and get her sedation shot while eating a Churu, her favorite thing in the world.
  5. We don’t have a ton of pictures of her, poor girl. She never was very into us, she liked living here, but didn’t like us to pick her up and hold her. So we just did the best we could with her.I feel a little badly that she’s getting a bullet-pointed mention rather than a dedicated post, but ya know, take your complaints up with The Management. And also I’m the management, and disregard all complaints.
  6. Speaking of dead cats, I don’t believe I ever fully even gave my girl Purry her dedicated post. She got really sick last summer and died about a week after we found Mean & Scratchy Doryto. She was my good sweet love, and that hit hard.
  7. I’m happy to know, though, that I still have the capacity for deep love. My love for my baby Wha’cha goes all the way down to my toes. And her toes. Last night I asked Almighty Google, “How can my cat know I love her,” because I wanted to make sure she KNOWS how much. Basically, feed ’em their favorite treats (I do) and don’t kiss them on their cheeks because it bothers their whiskers (I do that and don’t plan to stop, because I enjoy it too much).
  8. No wonder I’ve had underlying SADs.
  9. Last year was the year of one unexpected dead father, betrayal, bad-toothed sick and dying cats, and let’s not forget my own chipped tooth that cost $1800 to fix and it still looks … off.

Let’s go over those cat teeth expenses. DJ had a chipped front fang, and it needed extracted since it had an exposed nerve. $1400 in November.

Toby had horrendous breath, and inflamed gums. Two different vets, and he ended up with multiple bloodwork panels, 8 teeth extracted, and now he’s not eating well. We are around $1600 with him right now, and I just got an order of $96 prescription cat food to see if that’ll fatten him up. He’s down to just shy of 9 lbs. and he used to be just south of 20 lbs.

They are all on prescription Revolution for fleas, as nothing else works. $23/a dose times my six three cats….well, you do the monthly math.

I need a Go-Fund-Them.

But! Despite all that, today is the Lunar New Year and I lit my Year of the Dragon personalized candle, got out my essential oils that my cousin sent me some time ago, and I had a little ritual for good luck, good fortune, good health and good vibes only.

While researching the Lunar New Year rituals, I learned the following:

  1. Wear Red Panties for good luck (will do, as soon as I put some on).
  2. Don’t wash your hair, you’re washing away good fortune (I wish I had read that yesterday, because I am not my freshest on my head).
  3. No cleaning the house, absolutely no sweeping (sweep away the good fortune), no washing clothes and no cutting stuff with scissors.

I really can appreciate rituals that involve walking around kind of filthy and making house cleaning off limits. These are some New Year rules I can get behind.

So it’s a brand new year and I will start anew today. I plan on spending the time I would have used cleaning, sweeping and washing my hair baking a cake, the ultimate Repurpose.


So… here we are in the middle of the first month of the new year and where actually are we?

My Mister and I jumped on a plane and took a quicky little trippy to Atlantic City last weekend, and I managed to feed my soul with a little bit of Sunset on the Beach, which should be a cocktail because I need that a whole lot more than I need Sex on the Beach, quite frankly.

What would a Sunset on the Beach drink actually contain?


I asked Almighty Google, because I thought for just a really cute minute that I came up with something original, but of course I did not, there ARE NO ORIGINAL IDEAS LEFT, EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF HAS ALREADY BEEN THUNK.

Sunset Beach recipe: 1 oz Mailbu Coconut Rum, 1 oz Blackberry Brandy, cranberry juice and pineapple juice to your liking. Garnish with orange slice and cherry.

I actually am naming my take on this to Sunset ON THE Beach and it would have a base of Carrabba’s Blackberry Sangria swirled with possibly something firey orangy and maybe a dash of pink, and blue curacao at the bottom to represent the ocean and now I have a brand new Resolution, to concoct the perfect Sunset on the Beach drink and you shall all be invited over to try them this summer.

I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but creating a brand new drink recipe is not what I even came here to tell you about – these blogs just create themselves, all organic from the hopscotch thoughts in my brain. Not Impressive, right? They seem so well thought-out.

What I did want to talk about is this:

For some damn reason, I downloaded the image above as a JANUARY RESOLUTION GOAL GETTER to get my life and home organized AF.

Now, where on that calendar does it list “Trip To AC to Lose $ and Eat Delish Food and See a Sunset on the Beach?”

Where does it note, “Invite a friend over for dinner and spend a random Thursday evening together?”

Where is the, “Write some stuff so your Reader has something to do other than Clean Out a Backpack or Wash Car?”

…”Play Cards with Friends on a Friday Night?”

…”Take a EFFING WALK OUTSIDE and get some fresh AIR, even in the cold?”

… “Call Your Dad.”

….”Meet a co-worker you haven’t seen in 20 years for lunch.” Which is what I’m doing in an hour.

What I’m getting at is the calendar above? Should be titled, “Resolutions That May Make You Slightly More Tidy For a Minute Before Everything Gets Messy Again, But Will Bring Your Month Zero Joy, Unless Your Name is Marie Kondo, Who Lives to Tidy.”

I have spent this moment with coffee re-evaluating my month of goals because the shit I download to try to focus on (see calendar above)? Sucks a dick.

Now, I did get busy with reorganizing and cleaning out my clothes closet. Because for Christmas I received The Best Gift Ever from My Mister and well, since I’m meeting a co-worker for lunch and I still need to shower, we can talk about in a bit.

But I will say one thing about that.  They allot that task to ONE day. One, Reader. Like we’re some kinda Hercules or something.

I started on my closet re-invention the first weekend of this new year and I still have bins of crap around my bedroom that haven’t found their new home yet. BECAUSE see all the other HAPPIER MAKING things I’ve been doing, such as friending and traveling and eating and cooking and right here, this.

Dumb calendars should not be allowed to rule your month, Reader. I think as soon as I’m done inventing my cocktail Sunset on the Beach, I’ll write a GOOD calendar of goals for February.  If I’m drunk from my SOB (I’ve already shorthanded my un-invented signature cocktail), all the better. Remember, we’re a no judgy zone. Kind of. Don’t judge ME, is really the zone I’m talking about.





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