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The Bang Bang Theories


If you’re reading this, it means we made it. We made it to 2023, the time of flying cars and robot maids.

We did get robot sex dolls, but i’m still waiting for my robot maid, which needs to be a step up from the Roomba because it needs to have a smart sensor to avoid all cat fluids.

Yes, I realize my photo at the top has some swirls and I’m not caring about the small things on the first day of this new year. We’re here, focused on the important stuff, like THIS HERE BLOG, words for you on this new day.

I usually take the New Year pretty seriously. I have a different life I want to cultivate, and so I set these goals and then I usually may do a couple of things which is better than nothing. I enjoy the thought of “there’s still plenty of time, let’s set some goals,” like I’m not on the backend of my life just yet (I am, but ssshhhh…).

I recently read an article that talked about planning your life out in chapters. There’s the birth chapter, school chapter, marriage chapter, house chapter, location chapter, blah blah.  I think t’s kind of interesting, and I may take this approach, at least for this coming year. I’m in a “I still have to work but one day want to retire and then where do I want to go and also if I don’t write a book now at what chapter am I going to, and also let’s make this the chapter where I get my twenties body back and also just do some yoga already, so let’s figure out our chapters” chapter of my life. I think I just need to figure out this next short chapter, from now until summer.

Which leads me to the other good tip I received from Dragontree, which I’m really into and had my burning all bad things in the moonlight virtual party with.  I know you’re not supposed to end a sentence with “with” but I don’t know how else to end it so … I’m just going to let it dangle out there. Let the Withs fall where they may. It’s an official slogan. They said to pick ONE THING. One resolution only. Not to get crazy. Make it focused around who you want to BE this year.

Last year I wanted to be outdoorsy, and never even got my pool out of the box. This year I’m going to be Summer Pool Girl.

For Christmas this year, I received this lovely gratitude jar and unboxed it today to get started filling it up with all the things for which I am truly grateful.

As I took the styrofoam from around it, I promptly hit the pedestal base against the wood table and cracked part of it cleanly off.

I’m not sure if this was a predictor of how my new year is going to try to go, but it had better know who it’s messing with.

Because I glued it back together and plan on hot-glue-gunning some costume jewelry gems to this pedestal and making this crack just a stepping stone on the way to dazzling. Kind of a metaphor for my life.

Alright gotta go….I did make a pact to get a movie-star ass by May, doing curtsy squats throughout the day, because I am nothing if not grounded in reality and think that Kelly Ripa and I are twins, or at least we will be after I do twelve exercises once.

That’s my 2023 Ass Goal. Again, grounded solidly in reality over here at Chez Bang Bang.

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