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The Bang Bang Theories


Mostly, no.

I don’t know about you, Reader, but I have not been spending the bulk of my time doing things to get me closer to where I’d like to be in life. I kinda blame social media instead of myself, because I’m taking my cues from the president and Take No Responsibility for Anything, Ever, and Just Say I’m Doing a Terrific Job.

Except mostly there comes a time when you have to truly look at yourself and decide if you are doing a terrific job – at least normal humans do – or should.

So I took some looks at myself, oftentimes naked and in my full-length reflective glass patio door, and determined that I need to take steps today to get me where I want to be tomorrow. And then I joined WW, even though it super-fucking-annoys me that it’s renamed WW, much like “Dunkin'” renaming itself. I don’t approve of renaming things for no good reason. It’s just dumb. We are already a shorthand society.

I’m only a recently-rejoined WW member and I’ve only sometimes stayed within my points, but much like My 600-lb. Life participants, I still hoped for stellar results on the scale this morning, and was disappointed it was 2 pounds. Dr. Now would tell me I should easily be able to lose 5 lbs a week if I would just stick to the plan.

The other evening I watched an episode of My 600-lbs and lemmee just tell you – I feel their struggle. I do not know HOW they go from eating 40,000 calories a day to 1,200. A girl’s hungry and only wants to eat so many eggs in a day.

I also noted during that episode that a lot of their exercising looks very similar in form to mine. Mostly flailing your arms around and going for a short-ish walk.

I’m not sure exactly how I’ve gotten to this particular point in life at the moment. I’m talking holistically, not just in regards to weight.

I’m dissatisfied with what I’ve created for myself. I am capable of more. I need to spend my time more wisely. I enjoy sitting here and letting thoughts spill from my head to my hands and into the universe. Yet I don’t afford enough time to it, and instead I spend far too much time checking out how other people are spending their time.

So basically, I’ve decided on a 30-day detox. Because 30 days are going to go by anyway, and I’ve already used the whole “it’s a pandemic, don’t pressure me to do stuff, World!” long enough, and I want to do more things today that move me towards where and who I want to be tomorrow.

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