I know I told you this wouldn’t become some high road diet blog, wherein I become An Influencer and talk talk talk-ety talk about my new fantabulous lifestyle, yet here we are.
I’ve been super really almost-can’t-stand-it wanting something sweet in my yaw*. I’m eating a scrambled egg with fresh mushrooms right now because I sort of skipped dinner, so now this is officially dinner.
*until right now I thought “yaw” was a fun slang word for ‘mouth’ but it doesn’t seem to be, except I think it should be, so I’m committing to it.
I asked Almighty Google what is a more healthful substitute for sugary goodness that is also low carbs because carbs are my sworn enemy right now, and this is what Almighty Google delivered:
And all I can say is No, Google, I do not think that broccoli is an adequate CAKE substitute. Not if it were deep-fried and covered in chocolate sauce. Vile weed.
I’m almost offended on behalf of cake.
In other news of today, I decided that right now was when I was beginning a 12-week yoga challenge, let’s be clear, it is the simplest, most basic stretchy stuff that anyone should be able to do.
I found it quite difficult.
I went through the round of poses, but again, let me be clear: I’m CERTAIN none of my positions looked like these positions. That #7?? Really? I mean. Come on. I had to pull over a chair to balance myself a little and then bend backwards WHILE HOLDING ON THE CHAIR – not my feet behind me.
I made myself a little graph and colored in my day and that is what I shall do every. single. day. for twelve damn weeks, no excuses unless something tragic happens to my body in the meantime, because this little routine can be done anywhere, as long as there’s a chair nearby.
It will be interesting to see if I in fact get more bendy along the way, or if it’s just all too late.
And that’s where we are tonight, Reader. Skeptically optimistic.