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The Bang Bang Theories

Time is Not On My Side

I’ve got the very definition of First-World Privilege Problem for you RIGHT HERE, Reader.

For the past few months, I’ve been thinking about selling my watch. It’s done it’s time with me, it served it’s purpose – which was mostly driven by in-your-fat-dumb-face towards my exhusband, who informed me once during our married existence that, “You will NEVER have a Rolex. That is ridiculous!” as he climbed on his Harley and rode it out to his 4-person airplane.

I was ridiculous.

So upon my divorce, and after acquiring a hefty chunk of his retirement, I treated my fat dumb face to a Rolex while I was in St. Maarten.

And I wore the hell out of it, and enjoyed it, and now I’m over it.

The problem with having a statement piece watch is that I won’t ever wear any other watch.  I think about getting an Apple watch, but would never wear it. I don’t wear trendy watches. One one hand, it’s kept me from spending additional monies. On the other hand, the maintenance alone on it is around $600 when it needs a tune-up, so I’m still spending monies.

I have decided the TIME is now to get rid of it, and went in search of her box and all her papers. And I cannot find it anywhere.

I know where I last saw it.

Why isn’t it still there??

I don’t know.

I’ve searched every drawer and closet.

It’s still a no show.

What. the. hell.  Is the new catchphrase that my friend Cee-Lee and I latched on to last night when discussing the absurdities of this crazy and unexplainable life, where actual real tragedies are happening every single day.  I know the difference, believe you me, I’m just mostly annoyed that what I need – when I need it – cannot be found.

I could try to sell it without the papers and box, but that increases the value significantly and after I don’t have the watch the papers and box are no good to me.

What. the. hell.

Life, I know you’re trying to thwart me. I feel it in every breath I take. It feels heavy and stale and hard. But I’m going to keep on keeping on, and go look around one more time today, and see what I can rustle up. If I don’t find it, I’m going to move forward anyway.  You won’t win, Bad Luck.

And yes, my big problem of the day is finding the box and papers for my Rolex spite-purchased watch.

Keep it all in perspective, Me.

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