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The Bang Bang Theories

Weep for the Willow

Once upon a time last week, a young shut yer mouth girl was sitting on the deck minding her very own business and enjoying a large cuppa black* coffee and listening to the birds sing and she was startled plumb up outta her seat by the sound of the world ending in her very own backyard.

*i’ve been drinking my coffee black ever since I completed the Whole30 diet, which was completed in 5 days, because I’ve an overachiever. except I don’t drink it black if I have my sweet jizzy coffee creamer on hand.

When she leaped up like a startled gazelle and looked over the rail of the deck, she quickly noticed that where once stood a tall and hardy willow tree*, was now an upended trunk with roots asunder and a brand new canopy of leaves to dangle over the ravine.

This used to be an upright situation.

*the roots of the willow trees are super shallow and basically suck, why are these planted in my backyard??

In other words, I got the holy-smokes-Batman crap scared outta me when a giant tree just fell right on over from my backyard’s edge, crashed through some smaller trees, took them out in the process because obvi dead trees love company, and now it’s hanging on by a thin thread over the babbling brook.

Perfectly well and good smaller tree until the big mean tree knocked it out. Now it’s a cat balance beam, being used by Nadia Cat-maneci.

All that on a clear and bright summer morn*, with no wind nor rain to hasten the falling leading up to any of the commotion.

The good-ish news is, the remaining willows that border the backyard mostly lean into the ravine as well, except for one big one that looks like it would be happy to fall right into the corner of my house, demolishing the living room in the process.

It seems steady for now, but frankly so did this other one, which is why it came as quite a surprise to Trixie BB that bright and cheery July morning when it just uprooted itself right in front of her ears.

So that’s what goes on around Chez Bang Bang when nature thinks no one is listening.


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