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The Bang Bang Theories

Lovely Lady Lumps

There’s a strong chance that my new daily uniform may be this shirt and a pair of yoga-pants-that-have-never-actually-participated-in-yoga-unless-you-count-bending-over-to-pick-up-a-cat.

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. There are enough, more legitimate reasons for that.

I had MM take a photo to showcase my uniform and also so I could make sure I wasn’t walking around with unsuspecting camel toe that I just can’t see because do you see the size of my jugs? They are camel-toe blockers. I have to put forth a concerted effort to see what’s going on below the belt, and my new laissez-faire attitude can’t be trusted to do a camel check.

Also, I’ve taken to not wearing make-up, save for a smear of lipstick, because I’m just unemployed, I’m not a barbarian.

On a positive note, I haven’t succumbed to going around unshowered, which happened a little the last time I was unemployed, except in my defense that was wintertime and how sweaty can a girl who does nothing actually get.¬† In the summertime that same girl can get a little ripe rather quickly. I’ve actually taken two showers a day this week, on occasion. I’m show-offy like that.

Today is the REAL Saturday, and I’ve made a shopping list and plan to make some real-honest-to-goodness Italian GRAVY, and also try a new recipe for Lasagna for tomorrow, since apparently it is never going to stop raining here and let me actually work on my freckles tan and/or get any yard work accomplished.

I did stain the furniture  on the deck last Sunday, and with my new free time during the week, I was able to put the last coats of polyurethane shininess on top, in between bouts of rain.

You can sort of see the before here, in this adorable picture of Kitty Purry looking completely stressed out. Notice the wear on the arm of the chair?

Trixie BB gave it all a light sanding and many many layers of stain. When it was 93-degrees and hot-as-balls that one day it didn’t rain this month. Because I know how to plan.

Now, with several coats of shiny water repellent topping, the water beads up nicely and I take a ridiculous amount of glee in that fact. Fi on you, Rain. You will not destroy us.

I did the three pieces of furniture and also the little table in the background.

Notice how crap-tastic my bright and colorful rug is looking? Thanks for nothing, Mother Nature.

Maybe my deck will be finished once and for all, by oh, September at this pace. But I hope sooner, because I have an out-of-town guesty coming in July and I’m hoping to be wine-drinking-ready by then.

If we can get the weather to cooperate.


In the meantime, stop in. The more the merrier is our motto at Chez Bang Bang. The odds are ever in your favor that I will be showered. Probably.

2 thoughts on “Lovely Lady Lumps

    1. your reading my nonsense makes me happy….a writer without a reader is just a lonely person sitting with a cuppa coffee when she should be mopping the floors instead….

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