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The Bang Bang Theories

New Year-Palooza. because everything’s more fun if it’s a palooza…

Hi, Reader, Hey, hAppY nEwYEAR!!!!!!

We’re so happy over here at Chez Bang Bang that the happy is dancing up there in that first last sentence.

I cannut even believe it’s days, days I say! into the New Year already and I’ve left you with nothing but a bad post since before Christmas.  PS., “cannut” is not a typo, that’s an intentional, just because I felt like typing with an accent for a moment. You’re going to have to read that in your own head with an accent, Reader. It’s your part in this relationship. Also, I don’t know what sort of accent “cannut” would have the predilection towards, again, that’s on you. In my mind it reads in the voice of Koothrappali from Big Bang. You’re welcome to use that, too. I’m not stingy with the accents in my head, Reader.

Shwew-ie I need to take a moment.




Alrightie. Back to the story. Yep, there is a story, or something trying to come out of my head to you tonight.

I don’t believe we’ve touched on any holiday shenanigans, except I told you that I was out sailing around for the holidays. Things were good, good enough.

Everything has sort of gone by in a giant rush, and now it’s the 4th of the first month of the New Year already and I’m feeling like I need to deliver on my end of our relationship here. Because I’m the giver, and how can I expect you to hang around if I’m not giving you new words from my head?? It’s unfair of me, actually, to keep my thoughts from you.

But before we get into any meat-n-potatoes sort of posts, it’s time to share a lotta photos from the cat’s favorite time of the year: Cat’s In New Year’s Hats!

I had a heckovatime trying to find a cat-head sized Santa hat, and gave up on that this year since we were travelling, but then I felt the pressure to produce for New Years, and I had no hat for that, either. Except Kenny was DJing at an event and for reasons we won’t get into here his stupid Lexus battery died in the cold and I had to drive Miss Daisy at 2 a.m. I used that opportunity to find party hats left behind by drunks and they did not disappoint me.

With hat in hand, the only thing missing was a buncha cat heads. Luckily, I have seven three adoring cats awaiting their opportunity to shine in the new year.

We got to it, myself going all “brave*” in the new year with a bare face, unbra-ed titties and bedhead. Because I like to keep it real for you, and also make you feel better by comparison.

Toby was the first to get his opportunity, and he looked thrilled:

Gussy was awoken from a really had nap for a chance to wear the crown, and he only kicked me in the face a couple of times:

Spoiled Purry was not too happy as a clam.

See how happy she is??

My second cat, DJ is amish and wouldn’t even look at the camera:

My first cat Sami wore her crown like a lopsided unicorn. Hey, I’m not here to judge. I let her do her.

Then there was Nose Dots, or Nosey or Dottie – he ignores us to either name – had a chance to show us his 22-lbs-and-counting belly:

And then our third cat, Wally, had his chance to look festive and happy:

Finally, our first cat, Toby, took another turn while he was lying down, and seemed to enjoy the experience a little more. 

And that, Reader, was our New Year’s Day My Three Cats-In-Hats Photo Tour.

Also, we’ve revealed why I’m not allowed to have a toaster. Because they exact their revenge in the form of no toast for me.



*there are actual published articles which refer to celebrities not wearing makeup as “brave” because that’s exactly the correct use of the word.  So I’d like to be heralded for bravery, too. And also I’d like a medal, in which I really mean a tiara because it goes with my outfit better and also distracts from my bouncing-around titties and bedhead. Or would a tiara actually draw more attention to my bedhead?? Hm. This bravery comes with conundrums.


2 thoughts on “New Year-Palooza. because everything’s more fun if it’s a palooza…

  1. Gratitude, for your story which was able to settle my mind and alow me to go back to sleep after waking up at 2:45am mind troubled by one toxic personality at work…whom we both know all too well. And now wake up at 7 am to finish it and off to work I go! Thank you, I am truly greatful. Purr-fect timing!

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