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The Bang Bang Theories

Read Between The Lines

That is a lot of promise in packaging right there, Reader. 

It effectively did it’s job, as it stopped me in my tracks as I was shopping around for absolutely nothing important.

Because my life could really use a change.  It’s not horrible, at all, and I’m still grateful and all that jazz, but it could seriously use some improvements.   

Of course I had to pick it up and check the price tag. I was willing to put up twenty-five large (that’s dollars, not thousand -this is middle-class America, not Beverly Hills). When I saw that I could Change My Life for $12.99, in my cart it went.  

I knew even as I was putting it in my buggy that I was probably wasting $13.  But on the slim chance it could change my life, well, I wasn’t willing to risk not taking the risk. 

I expected a new job, a husband, weight loss and a house that cleaned itself when I opened this up. 

So far, none of that has happened. And oh, by the way, I’m still having bad hair days, too. I think I’ve used too many squirts at once, because it oiled me up and it looked like I needed a good hair-scrubbing right after I’d gotten done scrubbing it.  

I guess my life did change, as I had to shower more often than before. So there ya have it. Truth in advertising after all.They never said it was going to change for the better. That was the customer’s (a.k.a Gullible Trixie Bang Bang) pollyanna, glass-half-full interpretation.  You could probably sell me some ocean front property in Arizona, too. Because I love the beach, and Arizona is quite sandy, from what I’ve been told. 

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