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The Bang Bang Theories


The sun is shining and I’ve been up EARLY (for me, Reader, early for me – not crazy-early like people who get up at 6 a.m. even on the weekends, but normal-people early, 9 a.m.!), I’ve enjoyed toast and coffee and some kittens and looking around the Internets at a bunch of nonsense. 

The day is sprawled in front of me! Here are the possible things I may do:

1/ Take an afternoon nap (because I was up early, Reader). 

2/ Organize my new office area, which has been in a shambles for a couple of months with it just half-assedly put together.

3/ Match some socks. 

4/ Finally put away my suitcase from my trip (last month, hangs head in shame).

5/ Bake something.

6/ Call people I miss.

7/ Meet an actual people I miss for a drink or shenanigans later today as I’m footloose and fancy-free this evening. 

8/ Squander the entire day watching episodes of Hoarders, My Strange Addiction, HGTV’s Living Abroad show, or Say Yes to the Dress. Because I’ve been known to squander hour upon hour with each of the shows listed above. They’re educational.  I’ve learned the following from watching them:

a/ My house is actually quite clean and organized. 

b/ Eating rubber tires won’t kill you right away.

c/ Eating Comet cleanser WILL rot your teeth out of your head and give you abscesses in your mouth.

d/ Most people who eat non-food have really poor complexions. 

e/ I don’t think I could move to Switzerland after all, they really have very little regard for women/women’s opinions, and that sort of offends me. The offense even outweighs my love of chocolate and melty fondues and the thought of taking on a Swiss lover in a fancy chalet. 

f/ I feel like I have a little secret for brides who put all that emphasis on a dress. 

So there you have it. We’ll see how the day shakes out. 

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