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The Bang Bang Theories

Cat’s in the Bagless

Of course I tried out the new vacuum. The cord is much better, but still stopped short on me. It just couldn’t reach from the kitchen to the far corners of the living room. Sad face. Times like this I do miss my Simplicity vacuum, because that cleaner had The Mother of All Cords. I had a 2 story colonial and could vacuum the entire house with it plugged in to 1 outlet, either up or down. Ah well.

But other than that? Well, let me tell you about the new cleaner. It has this stupid red and green light action on the front/top of it, visible when you’re vacuuming. Red means you’ve still got a dirty dirty floor, you hoarder-esque housekeeper. Green means your floor is lickable clean. And it was bouncing like a strobe light from Club 54, dirty-clean-red-green-dirty-clean. And I thought, “this is the most useless gizmo I’ve ever experienced and would have rather saved $6 on the cost than have that thing installed on my machine.”

Until I noticed that it was standing on red, when I thought the floor was clean. So I became obsessed with having that green light shine strong and steady and I believe I’ve spent an hour and ten minutes vacuuming my small 2-bedroom house. I’ve moved furniture, gotten into all the nooks and crannies. Of just the 2 main rooms and the hallway. I haven’t gotten to the bedrooms yet. I needed a rest before attempting those rooms.

So that dumb light? Became a challenge. I emptied my bagless dirt-trapper three times. Filled to the brim. With disgustingness. Otherwise known as what-used-to-be-cat.

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