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The Bang Bang Theories

Someone’s Gotta Do It

I couldn’t take it any longer. Bought a new vacuum last night. That short cord on the other? I hated it so hard that I just stopped vacuuming. And with five small cuddle-bug kittens (see how that sounds a lot nicer than calling them little shedding f-er’s who don’t really appreciate the easy-peasy life they have because if they did they would keep their hair to themselves!), that is a bad bad decision.

I stuck with Bissell, despite the war raging in my brain as I was hemming-and-hawing over all the selections – I’m pretty mad at them for that short cord. But to Show Them, it would have cost me an additional $80 or so, to get another brand, and I wasn’t that intent on proving a point they’d never even know about. If I had more readership (don’t fret, Reader – you’re enough for me: you is kind, you is smart, you is impo’tant!*) and a twitter account to hashtag the hell out of Bissell over my short-cord indignation, perhaps my Righteous Indignation would have had an impact. But alas, the handful of people who humor me by reading this just couldn’t start a big enough #OccupyBissell movement. Or could you??! Grab your tents, we’re goincampin‘!

That just seems exhausting, so we can just stick with the new cleaner, shove the old one in the garage or basement and move on with life.

In other news, I’ve been experiencing some Taste Bud Trickery as of late. I thought the reason I couldn’t taste the flavor in my Coffee Mate Vanilla Carmel coffee cream was because possibly #1/ had allergies (I do, that’s not in doubt, but I thought it was affecting my tasters now), #2/ loss of taste possibly comes with old age (but I still enjoy the taste of cake, so other things are getting through to my tasters), or #3/ I had gotten used to it and thus, the deliciousness had worn thin.

Then? This morning My Mister commented that, “I didn’t even know you were adding flavored cream to the coffee,” and I said “Ah-Ha!” ~lifts arm straight up in the air, pointing to the sky in a thrust of it’s-not-just-me awareness ~ and went to get to the bottom of the coffee creamer trickery.

And discovered that I had apparently stepped it up at the grocery store and purchased the name brand Coffee Mate instead of the Giant Eagle much-more-flavorfull brand of Vanilla Carmel creamer. So now I’m going to add #Coffee Mate to my occupy movement. Bring a sweater, reader, that occupying is going to get chilly at night! We’re going to PROTEST and STOMP OUR FEET and DEMAND SATISFACTION! These abominations of short vacuum cleaner cords and tasteless coffee creamers CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT STAND in the face of paying consumers.

Ahem. Allow me to regain my composure. All that standing up for stuff can get downright unladylike. And, Reader, we both know I pride myself on my ladylike behaviors.

*re: The Help

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