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The Bang Bang Theories

Keen Marketing

If you’ve ever been on a cruise, or even talked to people who have cruised, you are familiar with the excitement of excursions that are offered at every stop. In the Caribbean, the words “beach”, “painkiller punch”, “snorkel” are noted throughout, and they are often qualified with descriptors such as “dream”, “paradise”… well, you get the gist.

Whilst perusing the excitement that was offered up at our recent stop on St. Thomas, I stumbled across the following Explorations! adventure that was snuggled right between, “A scenic boat ride will transport you to St. John where you can shop, sip a free drink and enjoy 3 hours of leisure time” and “Two-tank SCUBA adventure allows you to explore both a coral reef and a sunken shipwreck.”

Voluntourism: Royal Caribbean International’s community outreach program enables cruise guest to participate in meaningful community volunteer work. The U.S. Virgin Islands…yada yada yada…..appreciate all help preserving America’s Paradise. Various tasks will include coastal management, trail upkeep, eco-education, reforestation, community service and urban revival.

$50. Each. You PAY. To hack through a jungle trail, clean up the beach, plant some shit, dig latrines, paint buildings, build houses, etc. The possibilities are truly limitless with the vagueness offered in the description.

A full six and a half hours worth

On vacation. Where we went to relax and get away from it all. After cleaning up our own jungle of a house and helping with our own revival.

I guess we truly are selfish selfish a-holes because I can’t think when I would ever sign up to do this during my tropical vacation. Vacation being the key word.

Kenny said it won’t surprise him if the ships start offering, “Rappel down the side of the ship while experiencing a high-pressure water activity that thrills the senses.” And charges you $50 to wash the ships windows and clean barnacles.
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