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The Bang Bang Theories

Russell Crowe Would Kick Some Ass

Friday evening we went downtown for the Taste of Cleveland event. The very event that is sponsored – for the 2nd year in a row – by Ohio Natural Gas. I won’t even go there because it’s So. Obvious. (but by pointing it out, I believe I did just go there – and I forced your mind to go there with me).

We bought twenty-dollar tickets to see Weird Al play. As a result of our spur-of-the-moment decision (see! I am still spontaneous!), we were in the last row. Still fine seats, but certainly not close.

And I was completely annoyed and befuddled by the hillbilly lunatics sitting right in front of me with shit-ass cameras who held them up sporadically – directly in my line of vision – throughout the event to try and record the show. Why The Face? (see: Modern Family for the reference. Thanks, Eunice – very handy!).

Society. Here we go, I’m off on a rant about Society. Me, who blogs and owns an iPhone and has a Facebook account and likes to keep my life Right Out There for all three of you (Meggan!! Yoohoo, yes YOU! Hello!!) to read about my going’s on. Please, allow me a moment while I position my soap box and prepare to mount.

We have become a society intent on providing Proof of Life. We have to tweet updates, provide witty little one-liners about whateverthefuck we’re doing at a given moment, and capture said moment digitally to post somewhere – anywhere – to prove that we Lived Life and Had Fun doing it! So take that, you lame-o losers who haven’t had as much fun as me!

My daddy had a saying that when you point your finger at someone, there’s always three pointing back at you. Go ahead, I’ll pause while you sit there and try it out. See? Three, pointing right back at ya.

Yep, I’m guilty of updating and straining for witty all the time. I even find that for some unknown reason, I’m actually a little proud of myself and feel somewhat superior for deleting my short-lived Twitter account. But yes, I’ve twatted. It was just too much pressure to please my two followers and someone actually shouted at me for not twatting more often – a stranger, no less! So I deleted.

But seriously. Back to people who feel the need to capture every moment without regard for it infringing on my life. Knock it off.

Because really, no one gives a shit about your grainy-ass garbled video from a Weird Al concert. If your hope is to upload it to YouTube and try to become the next Internet Sensation, I highly doubt this is going to do the trick. Try WATCHING life unfold before your eyes sometimes. You might be surprised at how nice it can be, to actually participate in your life and be absorbed in the moment instead of capturing proof that you were/did/saw something.

As for my own Proof Of Life? Well, of course, I did what anyone would do. I took a picture of the lady taking a picture.

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