While in the checkout line shopping today at Sam’s Club:
Kenny: “Here, let me give you some money for all that stuff.”
Me: “Nope, it’s okay, I’ve got it.”
Kenny: “Well, you don’t need to buy my shoes! (referencing impulse purchase of $20 boatshoes for upcoming boat trip)
Me: “It’s alright, no biggie.”
Kenny: “You don’t have to buy my shoes – what are you, my mother?!”
Me: “Yes, pretty much, yes. I have to do many motherly things all the time.”
Kenny: “Well, then, I guess that makes me a motherfucker.”
Annnd Scene.