web analytics
The Bang Bang Theories

The Tracks of My Tears

My vision is sort of jacked up in my right eyeball. Is this yet another way it’s great to be in my 40’s? I’ve been clinging to my lie of 39 for years now, but truth-be-told, the number is forty-fucking-three, six-and-a-half years away from oh-my-fucking-Garth-fifty.

I had laser surgery on my peepers many years ago, back when I really was in my 30’s, or maybe I was even in my late 20’s. The memory, one of the other things to go….but regardless, it was at least a solid ten or more years ago. They held up pretty well. I think it’s time for a tune-up.

The sucky part is that with my $2000 eyeball surgery, I was guaranteed a lifetime of free tune-ups had I went for regular annual checkups. Which of course I didn’t. That’s like people who get that “free diamond replacement should one fall out of your engagement ring” as long as you take it back annually to the store where said ring was purchased. Sounds good when you’re signing up for it all, it’s all, “Oh! Yes, of course I’ll be diligent and do that every single year!” until year 2 or so and you’re all, “Ah, fuck it, what’s going to happen.” Fastforward 10+ years, and I need an eyeball tuneup.

Luckily for me, the place is still in business, and it is the same place in fact where I had my head injected with needles. They seem to do it all there now, including laser teeth-whitening. That lone building can address all my cares from the neck up, it seems. I don’t know if I find that comforting or disturbing.

Now, the other part of the eyeball story is this. Remember when I went to the fancy makeup application place, The Powder Room, and they sold me a pretty-pretty face? They also convinced me to purchase this: http://www.collyrebleueyedrops.com.

Blue eyedrops. This stuff is so blue and so stainy, that as it runs out of my eye and down my cheeks, I have to wipe my face tracks with an alcohol swab to remove it. Some dripped into my porcelain sink and I needed a Clorox-ed cottonball to remove the tint. Is this good for my eyes?? The reviews say No Harm, No Foul (well, that’s a literary liberty there, but same idea). My eyes have certainly been sparklie, see reunion face below. See? Bright-eyed.

I just can’t recall if there’s a correlation between the jacked-up vision and when I began using these drops. I think it’s been an ongoing thing, but I’ve only started to pay closer attention to my diminishing vision as it’s become more apparent since I’ve been reading before bed more often, due to the shitty shitty television options and season 3 of Breaking Bad isn’t yet available on DVD.

What have I been reading, you ask? Well, I’ve turned to the classic, To Kill a Mockingbird. It was never part of my Required Reading as a yute, and since I read The Help and loved it soooo (extra o’s for extra love) much, and it was suggested to read To Kill a Mockingbird, of course I picked it right up the next time I was at The Wal*Mart and it’s been sitting on my nightstand like homework. It took me 106 pages before I finally looked forward to reading, it just wasn’t making it for me but I can’t give up. Now I’m a bit more invested in it so it’s a little easier going.

I have a lot of books on my nightstand, I vowed not to purchase any more until I made my way through some of them, but then they had a $1 booksale at work and I purchased three more. It’s one of my spends, I like to buy and own books. My frugal friends have suggested using that little thing known as the Public Library rather than buying books, but I like to own them. That way if they are deliciously good, I can pass them along and then talk about them with someone. The Help has made the rounds. It’s my 2010 favorite so far. Just so you know.

It’s Saturday. I have vowed to get my passport photo re-taken yet again and get that mailed off. I’ve waited so long that I now have to pay for expedited processing, yet again. I keep thinking that I’ll look better “tomorrow” and then I can commit to a 10-year photo. My passport needs updating as it still sports my yucky married name and I don’t want to carry that around with me on my next vacation, which is in four weeks or so. I need to brush my hair, drop some blue in my eyes, sparkle and smile.

Scroll To Top