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The Bang Bang Theories

Hold Your Applause

Here it is, Weekend Two of 2010 and I’ve got nothing much to show for it. The shame. I should have a published novel, organized closets, trim thighs, and a large bankroll from following my Master Budget by now. Instead? Instead I have a cluttered dining room, no clean socks for work tomorrow, and dirty dishes in the sink (again). Sigh.

Some highlights of the week include:
Meggan made me homemade pizzelles. A big metal tin of ’em and man-o-man were/are they good. Thanks, Meggan – I really wasn’t good enough in 2009 to deserve homemade-baked-goodary, but I’ll take it nonetheless.

I had the flu. The chills-and-sweats kinda flu. And my manager called off the entire week so I couldn’t afford myself the luxury of rolling around in bed with my aches and pains, instead I had to drag into work and write and present an hour-long presentation on Thursday.

During said presentation, I managed to fall clear outta my shoes. It was a move that could never be replicated, no matter how much practice went into it. And yes, you did read that right – I fell outta my shoes. They were the slip-on kind, mules I believe is the fancy name. And I moved one way, a shoe didn’t go with me, and the next thing you know they were both off and I was standing up there in my stockinged feet. Luckily I’m used to self-embarrassment and was able to recover from that and carry on, but like all great athletic moments, I’m sure it won’t soon be forgotten by anyone.

And then, later that day? I fell out of my shoe again, on the way down a stairwell, and my co-worker threw an arm out like a protective mother to save me from a wicked spill.

So that’s how 2010 wants to play it. Bring it, Mo’fo. There. I sounded all “street” and scary, didn’t I??

Friday night we went to the movies. And now since we have to pay those outlandish fees for movies ($9 a ticket, for JimneyCrickets Sake!), I convinced the Mister to thumb his nose at his old bread-n-butter and and get a twofer. So we saw Up In The Air with George Clooney and then scooted next door for Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated. Both were good, Up In the Air was the better of the two. But the most impressive part of the story (other than my Ninja-ways, where I’m able to stealth around into movie theaters while keeping both shoes on) was that I was able to go out right after work on a Friday night and stay awake til well past midnight. Bool-ya.

Saturday I returned the As Seen On TV “Bump It” back to Walgreens. Stupidest. TV Gizmo. Ever. I was so disgusted by it, I considered throwing it in the trash with a big flourish, but then realized I’d like my $10 instead and returned it. Under “reason for return” I wrote “Stupidest. Item. Ever.” I wrote it with such authority they will never realize that “stupidest” isn’t even a word. Ha! Score another one for me! Who’s keeping score?? Wait, it is a word? Whatever.

The weekend has pretty much been an exercise in, well, non-exercise. I did, however, manage to accomplish one thing on my Twenty-Ten Resolutions List, which isn’t really an actual list at all but more like things I have just been thinking about doing. Mister A. (that’s my Lover, I’m working on finding a sexy and mysterious bloggermoniker (bloniker?? for him) patiently figured out how to fix my effing iPhone for me and got it registered for downloading Apps. It was a whole jump-down-turn-around-pick-a-bale-of-cotton exercise that frankly I had no patience for and it just made my blood pressure rise every time I attempted it. Some nonsense about syncing my PC with the phone, and cords were needed and it annoyed me but now it works so I can do Important Things like download ringtones and apps and stuff. Important Stuff. So shew, one thing accomplished. Take that, Twenty-Ten.

My goal for the upcoming week? Practice my Ninja moves, like keeping my shoes on at work. Stealthy.

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