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The Bang Bang Theories

Water Logged.

On the way home from our trip to Canada last weekend Kenny and I stopped mid-way home at the rest area to let old liquid out and buy new liquid to put in. We were soda and coffee-d out and both of us were thirsty for a refreshing drink of water.

So many bottles of water to choose from! Everyone has a favorite, too, and somewhere along the line we all became convinced that the more expensive waters must be better. Sucker for marketing that I am, I have long held Fiji water at the top of the my favorite bottled water list. I had two bottles of Nestle PureLife water in my hands, but then I spied the Fiji across the way in another section of beverage refrigerators.

“Oh, I’m going to get the Fiji water, it’s the BEST! Put this one back for me, please.”

Kenny: “There is no difference in these waters, you just THINK there is because it has a palm leaf on the bottle and costs more.”

Me: “Oh, no, I can TASTE the difference – it’s MUCH MUCH better.”

Kenny: “Really?? Well, let’s do a little taste test and see if you can tell the difference then.”

I cockily replied, “I know I can tell the Fiji water from the rest.” So we purchased three different bottles of water for our Rest Stop Taste Challenge of ’09. As we were checking out, the lady at the register commented on the Fiji water as she was ringing it up, “Oh, this is really good water, you can taste the difference.” I smugly turned to Kenny and nodded.

The stakes we were tasting for was $20. Not an enormous amount, but what are we going to do, bet a million dollars? The money didn’t matter as much as proving who was right.

The taste-off contenders we chose were: Nestle PureLife (a purified water with minerals added, and the least expensive), Dasani (a purified water, mid-priced and a product of Coca-Cola Company) and Fiji (artesian spring water bottled at the source right there in FIJI!), the highest-ticket water of the group.

(Yes, the picture of the water line-up was taken at home, not during the taste-off).

I grabbed some little paper condiment cups at the Burger King spot and we headed to the car to let the taste-off begin. I marked the names of the water on the bottom of the cups and then I closed my eyes while Kenny filled them and then arranged them in surprise order on the dashboard:

After three attempts, I was never able to correctly name even one of the water cups! Not only that, but the one I thought was the most-expensive Fiji was in fact the least-expensive PureLife water with added minerals.

Kenny laughed so hard on the drive home I thought he was going to wreck the car. I told him to shut the fuck up, but it really did no good. He gloated in a most unbecoming manner. But regardless, I did learn which water I liked the most and for once it’s the cheap stuff!

Tonight we went to Giant Eagle for a few necessities (cat food, unspoiled milk, fruit, etc) and my attention was immediately caught by the advertised Smart Water, 10 for $10. I threw two in the cart, much to Kenny’s disbelief. I admitted that I only wanted it because it’s what Jennifer Aniston drinks. And it was only a dollar. But who knows, maybe it will be the most fantastic water EVER and in the morning I’ll wake up and look like Jennifer Aniston. Maybe.

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