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The Bang Bang Theories

Wait For It

“You’re the chanciest-taking girl when it comes to your hair that I’ve ever met,” to paraphrase Rob this past week. I would have to agree with him, I will roll the hair dice on a whim, despite past results that have resulted in tears and expensive corrections. I’m on strike from my expensive hair salons. I’ve been paying far, far too much to have average looking hairs. And they do look average, not anywhere near the $150-$185 prices I’ve been paying. Yes, girl hair really is that expensive.

Now, that’s not to say I haven’t liked the color that my girl Sarah does at John Roberts. I do, I think she’s the best colorist I’ve had. But she’s difficult to get into (because she’s good), and frankly I’m less than impressed with how the hair cuts have been panning out. I’ve got all these choppy layers that “wing out” at the bottom if I don’t give them proper attention. So a more accurate statement is that I’m boycotting hair cuts for a while until everything grows out and just catches up everywhere. Since I’m doing that, I might as well boycott the color and do it myself, saving $100-$130 every 5 weeks. Plus, with the price of gas, I can use the chance to save somewhere in my budget. And really, how bad can it be to just touch up my roots myself for the next few months? Well, it’s that phrase right there where things have been known to go awry. How bad can it be, indeed.

Last month I did it myself and just used a Loreal kit purchased for the low, low cost of 2/$10 from Target, resulting in a savings of $180 from the last time I had my hair done professionally at Ladies & Gentlemen in Legacy Village. That worked fine, but the color was just okay, not great. The do-it-yourself job was certainly acceptable, and didn’t look $180 worse.

However, I’ve been thinking it’s getting too blond:

…. and I was ready to try something to make it a little bit warmer. A very ambitious undertaking for a non-professional. I’ve had disastrous results with similar past thoughts. You would think I would have learned by now….but no, apparently there is no learning yet.

Note: the above photo includes my super-sexy Jessica Simpson clip-on weave attachment, which has been pretty successful in evening out the choppy layers that have been cut into my head, and I’m trying to grow out.

So Saturday I went to Cosmo Prof (using Mimi’s card that’s required for purchases) and bought some professional Redken haircolor, along with a developer and a little application bottle. The color I chose was “sunflower” and the sample was a nice, golden blond. How bad can it be?? Nope, no foreshadowing here. While I was there I also purchased a bunch of shampoo and a new professional hairdryer (I had one, but the motor made a funny little noise last week and I’m frightened to put it very close to my head now), and the whole shopping trip set me back about $180. So a savings? But…I did get a bunch of products that would have cost me triple that amount in the salon, so it really was a long-term savings. The mark-up on shampoo is KaRazy. I paid $14.97 for a bottle of the stuff that would have cost me close to $50 at Target (in their “professional” products aisle).

Like the Mad Scientist (or Nutty Professor), I mixed my potions and applied to head, being careful to only apply it to the roots, I didn’t want to mess with the highlights that are still in there from my last salon visit in May:

And I waited the 25 minutes Mimi recommended. And almost had a heart attack when I went into the bathroom for the wash-out. “This isn’t going to be good,” I shouted to Kenny in the other room. Why I wasn’t keeping a closer eye on it, I’ll never know, but it was seriously DARK and not anywhere near the color of the Sunflower sample that had been on display. I should have captured the pictures, but I was too distraught. The real concern was that I hadn’t applied the color all over, and if it was that much darker at the roots, then I would officially be a two-tone head after the rinse. I was having a moment, particularly since we had a baseball game to attend in T Minus 1 Hour. No time to really make the “fix,” even if I had an idea of what to do about it. I shampooed, rinsed, repeated.

And TA-DA, After The Rinse:

Results were not nearly as dire as I had feared! It was darker, the highlights blended okay, and although there’s more red in it now that I’m used to, it did a good job warming up the color. All for $3. Which is the cost of professional color, by the way. So SUCK ON THAT, PROFESSIONALS! Ha! This is also a good picture to see the “choppy-ness” that I’m unhappy with, why the fuck they’ve butchered the bottom to this extent is beyond me. But I’ll fix it, by just not going to the salon for six months. And frankly, if I cut the visits down to 3 or 4 times a year for a professional “shape up”, I’ll be saving over a thousand dollars. Mimi said she’ll trim up the ends for me when I need it done, that way it’ll keep someone with Scissors for Hands from going crazy on my head. So there’s the big hair story. Aren’t ya glad you stuck around for all that!?!!

Scissors for Hands

Speaking of someone with Scissors for Hands, I had our giant hedge clippers out on Saturday, trimming up the bushes in the neighbor’s yard that line our driveway. I had pulled in the drive with the windows down on the Lexus and the bushes were so overgrown they shouldered in through my window, for Chrissake. The Honeysuckles were Gone Wild, thriving on the excessive amount of rain we’ve been having. So I stunted their growth, going crazy like a salon stylist, chopping in lots of layers. And as I was frightened to pick up the clippings that fell back under the big bush (not a fan of bugs, et al, that may be lurking under the hedge), I had to hone my Scissors-Hand skills and use the clippers to ever-so-gently grasp, but not cut, the fallen debris and pick it up and put it in the trash can. It was quite a fun experiment, to test myself to see if I really could survive if I did indeed one day awaken with scissors for hands. I believe I could, and still pet cats without cutting off their tails.

More Waiting Games

Here I sit, waiting for AT&T to show up and look into our DSL line. We’re up and running at the moment, but who knows how long that’ll last. It’s been on and off since last Wednesday, and since it was working for the greater part of Saturday afternoon, I cancelled the scheduled Sunday service call. Then it stopped working. I was LIVID when I called to re-schedule the service and they informed me the earliest they could get out here would be Monday between 8 and 5. I WENT OFF on that customer service rep, I’m sure we’re flagged as potential crazies. It went something along the lines of, “I’m paying YOU, you don’t have any problem taking my money, but you’re going to CHARGE ME if you come out to make a service call and there is no problem at the time, but I’m supposed to be okay with sitting around for 9 fucking hours like MY TIME isn’t a consideration, not to mention the 5 days we haven’t had service, and if someone isn’t out there on Sunday, don’t bother coming on Monday because I’ll have a NEW SERVICE out there to hook up a DSL to the house by then.” So someone’s coming out today (Sunday). My call was escalated, and Kenny was just in awe of watching me in action. And we’re getting a credit to our bill for our days without service. But still, here I sit around the house awaiting the Service Dude. I sent Tim & Ken to the movies, Tim’s waiting on the dry wall guy to come out and finish his ceiling repair, so it’s a whole day of waiting and only one of the three of us should be inconvenienced. I have a lot of stuff to take care of around here, anyway, and will enjoy a few hours to myself. I need to clean and sort and look for the tickets I’ve misplaced to Bill Mahar for August. So I’ll take care of all that, and they can go enjoy Hellboy II. It’s a win-win. For now, I blog and wait.

Luckily for me, I have a nice little catpanion (that’s a cat companion, a new word I just created!) to keep me company whilst I fuck off on the Internet rather than do Productive Things:

This is exactly why I need an oversized recliner, something big enough for Stanley’s pillow. He likes to nap in the chair while I compute. It would be lonely without my little cat friend next to me.

On a final note, Saturday night Ken and I had tickets to the Indian’s game. It was fireworks night. What a spectacular show!! Wow, the best fireworks show I believe I’ve ever seen. And we won the game, so it was even more fun. Ken and I had a hot dog, but true to our no alcohol plan, we stuck with Diet Pepsi. It was odd to be at a ballgame without a beer in one hand, but it certainly wasn’t hard. I didn’t have beer at golf, either, which as much as this sounds like I have a drinking problem, I don’t. I do not make a habit of drinking, we don’t even have beer in the house, but there are certain events that go hand-in-hand with having a beer. Golf and Baseball are two of those events. It’s more of the habit than anything. But the You Are What You Eat plan requires zero libations, and so that’s what we’re going to do. Other than during Vegas this week, we will be having some sort of cocktails, I’m not “dieting” on vacation. That’s crazy talk.

Peace and do something “chancie” this week – results may be a pleasant surprise!

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