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The Bang Bang Theories

Post-Coital Cuddling

“If you were a hairdresser, I’d open a hat shop next door and retire a millionaire,” Mr. Anderson sarcastically stated.

I was trying to help him fix his hair, it got quite disshelved after his shower today, it was sticking up in all directions and I was trying to blow dry and shape it into some semblance of order. It was all over the place after I had my way with it. I think he got a bit concerned when I said, “Now don’t freak out,” and then he looked in the mirror. I was doubled-over in the hallway laughing, tears streaming down my face. I don’t know how I could fuck up short guy-hair that badly, but there it was. I’m still laughing out loud just thinking about it and his hat shop comment. I haven’t laughed that loud in a very long time.

Kenny was quite the cut-up today. I was telling him about an article I’d read in Oprah Sunday morning about the powers of meditation, and I told him he should give it a try since he’s getting a bit surly with age. He replied, “Just take a nap, it’s the same thing.” He figures he “meditates” a good nine hours a day.

It was a busy week. I had to prepare for two presentations on Friday, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. It was stressful getting prepared, but I kept reminding myself that somehow it all always gets done, and guess what? It did! They went okay, the afternoon a bit smoother than the morning, although I did have one of the directors taking a nap right in the front row. I give myself props for not getting totally distracted by that. A little lost train of thought, but not as bad as it could have been. It’s a cryin‘ shame I don’t get Toastmaster’s credit for those – I should!

Saturday night we went to our friend’s house for a birthday party celebration. The birthday boy turned 51 or so, and is recovering from neck surgery. He’s in a halo. I told him nothing feels quite as old-man-ish as turning another year older in a neck brace. Old Age is a tough old bird. Anyway, Pete’s recovering well and was able to play some Texas Hold ‘Em. We played three games, I didn’t win, but I held my own for the first two, then got knocked out quickly in the third when I went “all-in” on a full house and got my ass beat by The Mailman. I guess if I have to get an ass spankin‘, at least it was by that sexy Mailman 🙂 I wasn’t very faithful to him, however; there was a 25 year old little piece of eye candy there we nicknamed “The Kid” and I made my very dirty intentions for him known. Kenny was a good sport and let me have my fun, but The Mailman was surprised he could be so easily forsaken. He called me fickle 🙂

Anyway, by the end of three games of sexually harassing The Kid, he dry-humped me in the kitchen on his way out the door. I guess I might have taken the overt flirting just a bit too far. Although it was fun, and he was tall and quite a hard body! I’m not going to lie and say I completely objected to it. If Kenny gets the chance to be dry-humped by a 25 year old hot chick, I wouldn’t cockblock him either. Kenny said the people at the party probably think we’re swingers. Lest you get the wrong impression, it was a crowded kitchen, and only lasted a moment, it wasn’t quite as scandalous as it may sound. Is there such a thing as an innocent dry-humping?? Ah, good times.

Our vacation plans for 2008 have just taken on a life of their own. We now have back-to-back 7-day cruises booked for October, Kenny was offered a free cruise on Royal Caribbean (balcony room!) for April, and the Vegas in June birthday trip is a sure thing. We might end up broke heading into ’09, but it will have been quite a fun ride getting there. But I hope that doesn’t happen – that would just suck.

The phrase “Implied Post Coital Cuddling” was used all in a day’s work, at a meeting to discuss and code some humorous cards. I am in the perfect job, where that type of discussion is acceptable and warrented.

That’s it for this Sunday night, I have a speech to write for Toastmasters and it’s now or never. I wasn’t even going to allow myself blogging time today, but here it is anyway. Oh, a quick “Goals” update: February “Early Riser Girl” idea is as dumb as the daily sex idea. I’ve tried, I really have. I did good for a while. But then, well, it was back to 8:30 arrivals. It’s hard to go in early when I’ve worked late the night before. Well, maybe I’ll be back at it tomorrow morning. The dawn of a new day lends the promise of new hope to accomplish the things we desire.

Peace, and enjoy the week.

One thought on “Post-Coital Cuddling

  1. I loved the dry-humping! My ex does that to me at least once a day! And trust me, if he did 1/2 that much REAL humping in our marriage…I wouldn’t be calling him “the ex!”

    The eye candy. Just today I invited a woman from networking to our TM meeting and she said she will come next week. I told her that this week only, the TM for the meeting would be “eye candy” and she would enjoy it that much more…..It’s Joe. Lets see if shes as hard up as we are – to even get just that and we’re satified!

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