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The Bang Bang Theories


It’s so blazin’ hot out this glorious 4th of July weekend, you’d think it would be the perfect time for me to be out on my boat.

I’ll let that sink in and allow a moment for your waves of envy to wash over you.

Because Trixie Bang Bang is now officially a registered watercraft owner.

We are planning a christening event soon, complete with naming ceremony.  Just as soon as I purchase life vests. I’ve been recalcitrant for no good reason, and then my friend Denise just recently put it in the light of, “better vested up than drowned,” and she is very correct.

I’m not a strong swimmer. I can dog paddle my head above water to the edge of a pool, but don’t believe I’d do well in the open waters.

So life vests will either be purchased today and we’ll take the boat out for a test spin or I’ll order them from Almighty Amazon, and then have the rest of the summer to get out on the lake. It’s going to go one of those ways, Reader, and at this point on 90-degree day after the 4th of July, i’m just unsure which direction it’s going to take.

She’s a roomy 2-seater, complete with air pump and aluminum paddles.

Explorer series.

So yeah. Me and my watercraft plan to hit the local lakes, sometime before the summer season ends.

I did discover that my boat has weight restrictions, which is frankly quite rude and now I’m being judged by a rubber raft.

I’ve got room in there for 1 more ass. Let me know if you’re the ass that want’s to join me. As long as you’re under 200 lbs. Hope may float, but kayaks have limits.

*yes, that title is a play on words. Keep up with me, Reader.




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