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The Bang Bang Theories

Falling For It

The ravine is full of song this morning.

We Fell Back an hour last night, and I do enjoy it on the morning side of things; however, i may as well just leave my pajamas on today as it’ll be dark by 4 p.m. and it’s the season of All-Day Pajamas because the whole country just goes to bed five hours after they get up.

This is not a directed ramble. It’s more of a, “well, I’m up and it’s not noon yet, let’s chitty-chat.”

My coffee and I have been in an “it’s complicated” relationship lately.  You know I’ve been struggling with my pumpkin spice coffee creamer, and I did add another to the mix – International Delight – and it was fine. Fine. The same fine as the Starbucks brand. So I think it’s not you, it’s me, Coffee Creamer.

I mostly have uneasy feelings about my coffee creamer needs because I switched to the dark side and just drank it black for so long and now I’m sucked right back in to sugary creamy coffee, and that would be FINE if it met the needs of my mouth. So I may just have to switch back to black.

Last night while shopping for Cat Needs, I succumbed to the allure of some Harry & David seasonal flavored coffee. I ALMOST bought the pumpkin spice flavor, but then told myself, “no. just no with all the pumpkin spice things.” If the coffee creamer can’t deliver on it’s own, I’m abandoning that quest. So I bought a maple pecan flavor, which sounds nice and Fall-ish, and it, too, is Fine. Is my mouth singing like the birds in the ravine? No.

These are back-to-back posts about coffee and I guess it’s revealing the story about what’s important to me. That life-giving magic bean.

Because my nephew has been staying at my home for the past couple months, and he’s kinda bossy about desserts and also sort of told me, “You don’t eat much at meals, but you eat too much baked goods and that’s why you’re fat,” only it wasn’t said quite like that but it’s the gist of it, I set out to prove a point and deemed October “No Bake October.” And I didn’t purchase cookies and cakes per my usual “fill up the house with yummy things.”

Now. Let’s tell the truth here, Me.

Did I purchase not one but two pies at Sam’s Club? Yes.

Did we purchase and eat an ice cream cake for nephew’s bday? Yes.

Did I eat some dessert at book club? Yes.

Did I go to the bakery at the end of October and purchase a cream horn and a teensy-tiny-pre-birthday-month cake? Yes.

This was the skinny-downed month of no baked goods.

Stop judging me, Reader!

I did not make things – as much as I wanted to bake. I did not buy Oreos, as much as they tried to tantalize me with new flavors. I did not eat the frosting off of that kinda meh bakery cake. I shared the pies at a neighborhood event.

And guess how much skinnier I was by the end of the month?

Two pounds, or eight sticks of butter.

Which quite frankly, doesn’t actually sound like it was worth the sacrifice to my mouth.

Not to mention, we rarely eat out any more – I have to Mom it up around here and have dinners kinda planned out since it’s not just me and My Mister who can fend for himself.

So. Two pounds seems frankly very rude.

I am exactly like a Dr. Now patient who sits there explaining away their two-pound weight loss with, “But I followed the diet! The scale must be wrong! I don’t know how this can possibly be!” and he’d tell me, “The scale doesn’t lie. People do!” and fuck you for judging me, Dr. Now! Sacrifices were made!

It’s a little disappointing, but I’m going to kinda try to keep the mojo rolling at least until Birthday Cake, because maybe I can wean my sweet tooth off a bit.  I have been paying some kind of attention to my overall well being, by ADDING things to my day vs. all the subtracting.

I try to start my morning with a quarter of a cup of beet juice. Most mornings this is my before-coffee thing. It’s supposed to be good for stuff like energy and opening your blood vessels and shit like that. I don’t know that it’s helping, but it doesn’t seem to be hurting and I like beets and can swig down a third of cup.

I’ve also mingled that beet juice with tart cherry juice sometimes, just for added kapow.

I eat a shit-ton of fiber. I’m fiber-focused, and my neighbors mentioned I’ve lost weight and I very lady-like tell them, “I’ve just been pooping a lot.”

I have, kind of when I think about it, added a turmeric tea to my afternoon beverage consumption.

Taking my medication on a regular, daily basis vs. doing it as when I think about it, and sometimes days go by when I forget. This goes down with my beet juice now. I read my friend’s book, Chronic, and she actually says right in there that if you need to take medication, taking it daily and as a scheduled thing is the kindest thing you can do for yourself, and she’s right.

And this month, for November’s addition, we are doing squats every day and have incorporated (so far) a pretty thorough bed-time stretching routine.

So yeah. Two pounds. Maybe it’s the coffee creamer I’m not even fully enjoying.

Life is hard. I mean, first-world-problems hard here.

That’s what’s doing over here on the back deck at Chez Bang Bang.  Thank the time change for this; I had morning time to write as I was up and at ’em earlier than my weekend usual. And there you were, bad-mouthing the clock. You didn’t know the treasure it would deliver for you today.



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