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The Bang Bang Theories


The Eternal Optimist Returns, as evidenced by the picture-proof of my three kittehs below.

We bought a light cream rug many many many months ago.

It stayed rolled up in the garage.

One of my three cats was very sick. Sammy girl – who rarely used the litter box on her best days – she preferred pooping and peeing in the corners of any room – had gotten old-age-cancer sick and never even attempted to walk to the litter box room in her final months.

Now, before you come at me – I tried, Reader. Put litter boxes in the living room, near to her. She choose not to participate. Who could argue with her? Not me. She got down to a scrawny four pounds. What are we going to do, spank a four pound, twelve year old cat? No. The answer – and the only answer – is no.

We don’t abuse the elderly.

We made the call at the beginning of February and I’m grateful we had a referral for an at-home vet service that wasn’t offensively expensive and she eased out of this world and into where ever a soul goes next. Yes, I think animals have souls. Don’t tell me they don’t. They aren’t built with that much cuteness and charm and then soulless.

But back to the rug.

With much hesitation – we decided to unfurl the solid creamy white rug, that doesn’t have a pattern to hide anything.

We surrendered to it. Whatever is going to happen, happens.

Not fifteen minutes later, Toby started the universal cat puke move, right near the new rug. He kindly missed it by an inch. I’m sure it was an accident on his part. Missing it, that is. He was probably aiming for it.


It has survived for almost a whole entire week unscathed. We put it down on Easter morning, and this is in fact the true Easter Miracle, right here in my own living room.

I remain optimistic.




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