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The Bang Bang Theories

I Didn’t Know It Was a Thing

Hi, Reader. I just learned about Hot Girl Summer.

Apparently, it’s the Summer I’m Supposed To Be Having.  Well, the summer we’re ALL* supposed to be having. It’s A THING.  A whole thing.

*ALL = girls only. No boys allowed. Unless we want ’em as part of our Hot Girl Summer. 

So what is Hot Girl Summer, exactly? Well, firstly, I didn’t think I qualified as I thought it was only for HOT girls, and not the girls who just get it in flashes. Nay nay, Reader. Hot Girl Summer means we’re going to have a summer full of fun.

Now, I didn’t know about Hot Girl Summer because #1, I’m a nerd who does not like hip-hoppy music that Megan the Stallion signs about, #2, if Tay Swizzle sang about it, I’d know ALL ABOUT IT AND QUICK, but she is busy making me feel all the sads with her moody Evermore music and so #3, my friendie had to drop it all on me casual like in convo, that she was having a Hot Girl Summer and I was like, “Whhaaatt??” and figured it was something just for her because she’s a Hot Girl.

She brought me up to speed and I realized it’s MID JULY and I’m not having a Hot Girl Summer and I need to get damn busy quick!  Every day I look towards my Vision Board that I created in January, and I have accomplished zero point zero of the things on that board, including “pontoon boat drifting” and “starry sky gazing” and WTF have I been doing, Reader??

Not living the Hot Girl Summer life, that’s what I’ve been doing.

Now, some could argue that I DID take an 8-day cruise in June.

And then I jumped back on a plane and spent the 4th of July in Vegas.

But.  There’s always a Big But, Reader.

I have a pool in my garage that’s buried beneath the rubble some where and is not set up in my yard for day floating.

My drinks-on-the-deck-evenings haven’t materialized. Probably because I’ve been busy not being in this state, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s still a thing not happening.

I haven’t found a Summer Drink yet.

I haven’t lazily drifted on one pontoon boat, gotten my still-in-the-box telescope set up for starry gazing, haven’t been HERE for us, Reader, nor have I spent time at one single fair or festival, had a bonfire, or made a s’more, or even planted one dang flower because I wasn’t home enough to plant and water so my deck is NAKED and not in the “I’m naked on the deck” kinda way.

You may be sitting there reading this and telling me in your head to shut the fuck up, Trixie, re-read the part about a cruise to Aruba and then a trip to Vegas and you have the audacity to complain you’re not having a Hot Girl Summer?? Except Hot Girl Summer needs to be happening HERE at Chez Bang Bang, that’s what I’m talking about, Reader. It’s easy for Hot Girl Summer to happen elsewhere. It’s making it happen HERE that’s my focus. So that every. single. day. has something to cheer about. That’s my Hot Girl Summer goal.

Let’s do this.

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