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The Bang Bang Theories

The Other Magic Weeds

I’ve been not at all hard at work around Chez Bang Bang lately, which is why you haven’t heard from me in a super-duper-too-long while, Reader.

Honestly*, I don’t know where the weeks have gone.

*prononce this with a hard “h” as in ha because that’s how I now say it after watching a hundred thousand hours of Yara talking on 90-Day Fiancé.

I’d like to say I’ve been leading the most exciting summer life, but really I’ve just been doing the normal shit around Chez Bang Bang.

Like kayaking. Because I own a boat, Reader.

And so what if maybe I only took my boat out once so far. We’ve had a lot of rainy dayze weekends and so that’s why.

This is a LIVE VIEW of my deck two seconds ago, and that’s why I’m not out on the water today. Because being IN the water is less fun that being ON the water, unless IN the water means in a pool, or in a tropical ocean. Then, fun.

This? Less fun.

We’ve just had a lot lot lot of the rains on the weekend.  Or super too-hot days and I’m over this scraggly weather already and just want a whole patch of 75-and-sunnies, please and thank you, Weather.

I finally – FINALLY! – went and harvested my wild grown medicine plant this past Friday night!

And I had it all washed and then I read the recipe again and I have to dry out all the water from the leaves to make my potion, and so I spread these Magic Weeds out on towels on the table on Saturday to air-dry in the sun.

Then we went to a luau poolside party and it poured the rain yesterday before we got home, and all my Magic Weeds were re-wetted.

Not one to be deterred and just give up and watch a marathon of Married at First Sights*, I gathered them up and spread them out on baking sheets and they are heating low and slow in the oven at the moment.

*I absolutely was deterred and watched six back-to-back hours of Married at First Sight last night, and now I have bedsores** from laying around so much, and could use my special Magic Weed salve which ironically I do not have because I laid around watching tv. The very definition of a conundrum. 

**not really, but I could, and that’s the point.

Once my Magic Weeds dry out, I plan on making magic salve and also some brandy-infused tincture to get us through the sickly winter months.

If you haven’t heard of the Magic Weeds – and no, these are not the kind ya smoke – well, you should really educate yourself on them and then also stop fertiizing your lawns and killing them off. My neighbors I’m sure wish I would fertilize this visual mess of a lawn they’re looking at, but all I see is Magic Medicine when I look at my lawn.

I harvest from it on a regular basis. Pimple breakout? Grab some Magic Weeds! Cat scratched my face? Grab some Magic Weeds! Mosquito / bug bite? Grab some Magic Weeds!

So that’s what I’ll be doing today. Making salves. Tinctures if I have enough/get another crop harvest.  Because Trixie Bang Bang is nothing if she’s not multi-faceted. She also sometimes refers to herself in the third person.

If you’d like a salve, drop me a comment and I’ll maybe be sure to save you a jar. Natural, organic and small-batch made by Trixie Bang Bang, Medicine Woman.  I mean, literally with those credentials I could charge hundreds of dollars. But for you, Reader? Free. Because we love each other.




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