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The Bang Bang Theories

Jokes On Me. Probably.

I realize that this is going to seem like an April Fools Jokie, but believe you me, Reader, it is not.

I’ve made A Plan and Set Goals and have Written Them On Paper, and we both know it doesn’t get more formalized than that: I am committing to healthier eating, and … I’m afraid to type this next part …. logging a million steps by the end of June.

That, Reader, frightens me to even type that number out loud.

My job calls for me to sit. A lot. And also? I like to sit. A lot. And nap. A lot. And watch t.v. A lot.

So I have a lot of A Lots working against this goal.

And for the past several days I’ve had a pain in my back/hip/side area for no reason whatsoever, other than it says it’s time to ouchie me, and so it has.

Today I did a test walk to to see how much ground I’d cover with a planned walk, and I only racked up 8,376 steps today, and that is about 5,000 more steps than my normal stepping day, so to say I’ve got an uphill battle to walk is not an understatement.

I’ve got to Work At This to put in 11,000 steps a day to hit this goal.

I did consider – and typed it and erased it and typed it and erased it – only committing to a half a million steps – that seems more achievable – but I decided to make it super uncomfortable for myself and just go for the million. I am going to have to take 2 walks a day, even in bad weather and I’m supposed to start in the morning and it’s also supposed to bring a snowstorm just to totally fuck with my plans and measure my commitment. Let me tell you, Mother Nature – I’m easily swayed to stay in bed.  So try not to be an asshole.

That’s all I’m asking.  For the days not be an asshole. By the time July rolls around I will have walked half my ass off. Maybe.

I’ve read that we overestimate what we can get done in a day, but underestimate what we can get done in a year. So I keep setting goals for myself – and even if I fail I may get a little closer to where I want to be. I’m just trying.  To make this year different. To try to be healthier. Happier. Bendier. And take little steps towards something different.

What about you, Reader? Are you making any new quarterly goals for yourself?


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