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The Bang Bang Theories

My Legacy When I’m Gone

I know you believe my life is one hip parade after another, and you’re right, Reader.

Also, I just had to ask AG (Almighty Google) if it’s “hip parade” or “hit parade” because to my mind’s ear (and now I’m thinking about ears in my head, not on my head) hip parade sounds correct and also like what I was going for here. So I’m sticking with hip parade. My mind’s mind said it was okay to use whichever I like.

My mind’s mind is a little jumpy-all-around tonight and I’m not even sure why, except I’m here trying to bang one out for you ~bada bing!~ in five minutes or less so I can get thy ass to bed. It’s a worky-day tomorrow and I require a lot lot lot of beauty sleep.

Back to my Sunday hip parade.

I spent the greater part of the day cleaning the grout in my foyer and giving all my seventybillion cat litter boxes a thorough revamp.

My six three cats generate a lot of stinky fucking stinks and believe you me, it is a daily battle.

Today’s battle was fought in the foyer. Ex.Cite.Ment abounds here at Chez Bang Bang.

But what we came here tonight was to share with you some of Tipsy Bang Bangs TIPS, get it Reader?? Tipsy? Because I have lots of tips and also sometimes I write this while I’m drunky.

Not tonight, though. Tonight I’m hopped up on a careful blend of cinnamon cheerios mixed with fiber one, because we live it up around here. At least with our carefully calculated fiber intake. Mess with my insides in August, 2020, and I’mma double down with fiber intake and new apple cider vinegar gummies, too, we’re not afraid of you (sssshhhh….yes we are, a little bit at least because 2020 is a complete ruthless asshole but we can’t let it think it has the upper hand).

So back to that grout. Sunday Funday.  The Tipsy to cleaning up that grout? Toilet bowl cleaner and a long-handled scrub-brush, Reader.

I present to you my before & after photo journey.

Before: My very dirty cracks.

After:  My white and bright crevices.

Now I’m not sure you can fully experience the awwww factor here, but My Mister and I both stood with our arms wrapped around each other’s waists while we just quietly appreciated the foyer floor.

We. Are. Rockstars. And party like ’em.

At my funeral you’ll all be standing around lamenting the shame of ol’ Trixie never having had the time to get her book written….but you can take comfort in the knowledge she had super clean grout.

So that’ how our Sunday went down here. Throw in scrubbing out six litter pans (also using toilet bowl cleaner, why had I never thought of that before??) and it was quite the day. I hope yours can live up to the bar we’ve set.

Stay tuned, I have another Tipsy Bang Bang tip for you later, but it’s a Tipsy Bang Bang, Beauty Blogger edition. It’ll be worth it or maybe not.



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