I don’t even know where to begin, Reader.
I don’t know if we start the story where we are today or go backwards to the beginning, or just start in the middle.
All that I do know for sure is that I don’t know anything for sure. I cannot predict a damn thing.
Had you told me at the beginning of 2019 that I’d pack up my convertible and be living in Florida, I would have sworn you were on too much of that crack. But that’s exactly what ended up happening, and while I had NO IDEA how it was going to work, what I’ve learned is that each day you just do the things you can to keep moving forward and you get to a point where you look back and see the small things you did and how it piled up into some kind of a life.
I’ve learned that writing down a plan helps turn that plan into a reality. I sirrioulsy do not know why writing it down is so important vs. saying it in your head. But somehow it works out better.
I’ve learned that if I say “Yes” a lot more than saying “No,” oftentimes I’m pleasantly surprised by what comes of it.
I’ve learned I can make new friends, and meet new people who are genuinely just good-hearted and their always-present smile and laughter is the real deal.
I’ve learned I really really needed more sunshine and blue skies and bright smiles in my past year to give myself a mental reset that I’m so desperately holding onto as we stroll into 2020.
I’ve learned that sometimes I really do need to just shut. the. fuck. up.
I’ve learned that I have a whole depth of creativity inside me and what I really want to do is hold classes where people get to make fun things.
I’ve learned that things don’t have to be forever, that “for now” is quite all right.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I say I’m going to write more!, that actually writing more is the only way to write more.
I’ve learned that I can make new habits if I just get out of my own way and do the things I say I want to do.
I’ve learned that Florida isn’t where I’m ready to live just yet, Reader.
It was time to go home. To my badly behaved cats, and my annoys-the-piss-outta-me-sometimes boyfriend, and my always-something-to-clean house, and grey skies and cold weather and let’s not even discuss the snow yet because I’ve so far successfully avoided it – but it’s coming, as sure as I know anything, it’s coming – and the potholes and the whole damn thing that’s Cleveland.
All of that is my life, and it was time to come home.
My always-reliable boyfriend flew down to Florida to help get me get here. I’m terrified of driving in West-by-God Virginia.
So he came down to help get me home.
I’ve learned that it may not be for good, because I have no idea what the future holds.
But it’s for now.
And while I miss so many things about my time in Florida – my new friends! the pool! the blue skies and no jackets required! – I’m lucky that I had this experience, and got to try out a different life, and can make plans for that life on a more permanent basis one day – but right now, this minute, I’m back where I need to be.
No, Florida. Thank you for having me.
8 thoughts on “Lessons in Life”
Congratulations on being brave enough to challenge yourself! Welcome home!!
I’m not so sure it was brave, or more of “well, I’m against a wall and need to do something.” But it was an experience, mostly good, and I’m glad I went for it!
Dear Trixie- I hope you’re where you want to be not just where you need to be. Life is finite. Make every day count and feel compelled to question your choices Every. Single. Day. Like you said, nothing needs to be forever, but too often procrastination turns into a life not fully lived. And please, I beg you to NEVER EVER shut the fuck up. You is funny girl and your voice brings a smile to a lot of people. Keep talking and sharing!!
I’m trying oh so hard to not procrastinate right now! I am where I want to be, rest assured. I did not want to move there. It didn’t feel like where I’m supposed to be. And I love that you told me to never shut the fuck up! I’m taking that advice seriously!
Stay safe over there! Thinking of you. xoxo
You have to admit, Cleveland is a pretty darn good place to live.
I can’t dispute it! I loved so much about Florida, but I missed so much about “home.”
Welcome home! We missed you!
aw thank you!!! that’s why Cle is great! We grow the best people.
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