Okay, I’m going to set the table for us here, right now, before we even get started.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I didn’t even WANT to drink this entire bottle of wine tonight*, but here we are, the last remains in that fingerfucked glass.
*of course I did.
I was compelled to drink that entire bottle because my refrigerator is too small to fit an opened bottle upright on any of the shelves, so I would have had to leave it out on the counter, and we both know a nice chardonnay should be chilled for freshness** so since I didn’t have a suitable “save it for another night” method, I just drank it. Or am in the process.
**I’m not sure if that’s a rule or not, but it sounds reasonable so I’m sticking to it.
My super personal too-personal-to-post-to-here-sorry-Reader-but-you’ll-have-to-PAY-for-those-thoughts-one-day journal (also noted in the photo) details all the Worries I’ve had recently, with the most recent worries centering around Which Cat I Hostage-Situation To Florida With Me.
It has pages of worries.
I kept trying to assuage those worries by reminding myself of All The Reasons we shouldn’t worry, but the reasons not to worry did no good.
At the end of the trip, I decided to bring Kitty Purry to Florida with me instead of DJ. I had kept vacillating between the two. I love them both, but DJ charms me more*** and he loves me and I love him and it was just a tough call. I love Purry, too, but she also loves Kenny, and hates change. But ultimately I choose her because while she’s sixteen and old and doesn’t like change, she HATES cats and I figured she could use the vacation.
***stop judging me for having a favorite, Reader! We are a NO JUDGE zone! That starts with DON”T JUDGE ME!
Anyway. She was The Chosen One. And the morning we were packing up to go, I put her in the airline carrier and off we went at 5:30 a.m. in the godawful-early hours of the morning to the airport.
A minute way from the house I questioned My Mister, “Why do I smell pee?? MY GOD, I forgot to put a pee-pad in the carrier in case she has an accident while we’re travelling!’
I can’t remember a fucking thing at 5:30 in the morning, Reader. It is not my optimized time. Just so you know, in case you’re ever quizzed about me on Jeopardy.
My Mister assured me there was no smell of pee, I was over-reacting.
He’s worse with mornings than I am, just so you know, in case that’s ever a question on Jeopardy.
We arrived at the airport and I moved the carrier to get out of the car and discovered my lap was completely wet.
Remember where I said a few sentences ago that I’m not good at 5:30 a.m.? It crossed my mind that I peed my own pants and just didn’t know it.
Once I came to my senses, I realized that I had ONCE AGAIN**** been peed on by Kitty Purry.
****This is at least the FOURTH time, I’ve lost count. And yet still she lives because I heart her and obviously I need to do a better job of meeting her needs.
Luckily I had a suitcase full of clothes with me.
I presto-change-o’d into a non-peed-on pair of jeans in the minivan. Luckily I had a spacious vehicle to change clothes in while curbside at the airport. Lucky, lucky Me, Reader. All the lucks were happening.
But when I think back to All the Worries I had, and what actually has become our reality – a little pee, but mostly good travel – I realize how SMART those quote-creators are, that we don’t need to have so much worry.
Because while she spent the first few days hiding in a duffel bag deep in my lone closet, she’s also going to be okay.
She’s looking around.
I had the door opened tonight while I was cooking to keep our little place aired-out, and I turned around and she was gone. Outside in the courtyard exploring on her own, without me.
Prior to today, she wouldn’t even stick a toe out of the doorway without Mama by her side.
She’s adjusting and getting more comfortable and she’s beginning to realize the threats in her mind aren’t founded in reality.
She’s relaxing a little.
Mama’s relaxing a little.
I like having her little body at home when I get in from work. I like having to tend to her. Scoop her litter. Feed her treats. Sweep up. Freshen her water. I needed something to have responsibility towards more than just myself.
It’s good for me.
It’s good for her.
We’re going to be okay.
And all those worries?
Are all just things I worried about three worries ago.
So keep perspective. Worry about the things you know, and not the things you think.
There’s often a solution. Like changing your pee-pants in the car, grabbing your cat and getting on that plane.*****
*****I know that’s not a Universal Specific, Reader. But bear with me, it’s All The Wine. I had to wrap this up.