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The Bang Bang Theories

Matters of the Heart

I have a Tan Line, Reader.  Proof of such is below.

I don’t really get “tanned” – I’m the frecklie-face with red-headed undertones beneath my naturally ~ ahem ~ blond hair.

I spent time in the sun on vacation sans sunblock, which can be a risky decision for me, and I know all about sunscreen and skin cancer and the hazards of Mother Nature, but I also know that some sun is good for you and metabolizes your Vitamin D and it raises the serotonin levels which is probably why I’m just so fucking happy sitting in the sun on a big ship in middle of the ocean with treats and drinks and people addressing my every whim.

Hm, maybe that also has something to do with my happiness sitting out there.

As if by magic, snackies show up in my room. 

So lotsa reasons to be happy out there.

But then all too soon it’s back to reality, and the only thing I have to remind me is a little bit of a tan and some future garage sale items, as My Mister calls my vacation purchases. I normally try really hard to keep my vacation purchases on the low end, because there is literally NOTHING I need from any of the places we visit, and also when I’m home I’m constantly thinking about working on the Magic of Tidying Up my life, which is anti-cluttering.  Notice I said “constantly thinking about” vs. actually doing. I’m low on the doing, but high on the thinking. In a lot of areas of my life, Reader, not just this one, in case you were wondering.

Anyway, I did make a few small purchases to also remind me of Places I’ve Gone long after my light tan line fades. This little handcrafted leather purse was among one of my purchases.

Now, I don’t need another purse – its one thing I have plenty of – yet the man walked by me on the beach in Costa Maya and I started looking at them and after he spent about 30 minutes and showed  me 50 purses that he was wearing like a pack-mule, MM informed me, “Pick one that you want, you WILL be buying one after making the poor guy go through all this.”

Yeah he really did earn that $30 or whatever it cost, plus it is truly hand-made pretty cute to boot. Time will tell if I ever actually get any use out of it, but hey – I left a few bucks on a rather poor island so I consider shopping there as part of my philanthropic work.

Since I’m a do-goody-gooder, I also left a few bucks behind with the silversmiths. 

There’s a long long long – way too long to be worth the payoff to you, Reader – story behind this ring. The cliffsnotes version is, two years ago when Joanne and I were on this very island, I walked by one of the jewelry shitshops and a ring with this green opal turned my head right around and it was coming home with me.

Except. One look led to another, and then another, and then the next thing you know, Joanne and I had a whole buncha jewelry we were ready to check out and then their stupid Costa-Mayan credit card machine didn’t work. So the guy herded us down to one of his other shops to see if the machine would work there.

It didn’t.

At this point, Joanne and I are getting a little concerned because we needed to get back on the ship. He kept assuring us we had plenty of time, and after several more long-minuted attempts to get our bling rung up, the final failed attempt happened and we had to leave, with the man following us back to the cruise ship – or at least attempting to – because we had cash in the room.

Except we didn’t have any time. Zero. To the point that the cruise ship had a golf cart waiting for us at the end of the pier and whisked our asses onto the ship, and then the captain made an announcement that they could finally get ready to sail because Joanne and Trixie – yes, he called us out over the loudspeaker BY NAME – were finally back on the ship. Without jewelry, so talk about a whole lotta wasted efforts.

And then after that, the captain called us out over the loud speaker at ever stop, reminding, “Joanne & Trixie, all aboard time is 4:30!”   Even better was when we were invited to a meet & greet with the captain & crew and I opted to nap so Joanne went alone and the captain was sure happy to meet her in person. He actually did have a good sense of humor about it all, actually. Luckily for us.

Over the next two years, I’d look at all of our travel stops for something similar, and could never find it. Seemed to be something specific to that area. So I was more than excited when this past cruise stopped right back at the scene of the incident and I was a woman with a mission.

I knew right where to go.

And there they were, several trays of styles with the green opal I had my heart set on. I wanted that rustic silver setting, nothing fancy, more casual.

Once I found it of course I wasn’t leaving Costa Maya without it.  The good news was, the ring was twenty bucks cheaper than what I was quoted two years earlier. It wasn’t exactly the same style, but the essence was the same. I got such a good deal I also picked up a silver bracelet and a pretty chain, and a $10 pair of silver earrings just because I wanted to offer more with my philanthropy.

I’m a giver. And a bad story ender, because it’s the end – or the beginning, I’m not really sure how it work – of Daylight Savings, and it’s 8:00 p.m. and I’m exhausted because it’s pitch dark outside and I want to jump into my pajamas and into bed. Which is what is happening in the next ten minutes or less, and means I have no brain thoughts to put into a happy ending for you.

Stop back. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

*this may be chock-full of typos, and I’m too bushed to care to read through it. Make it make sense in your own mind, Reader. You can do that much for me. It’s Birthday Month, in case you hadn’t heard the news.  I’m an old lady. I get to excuse a lot of my bad behavior away from here on out.







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