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The Bang Bang Theories


I sometimes need to stop the cacophony of thoughts that swirl ’round in my head and just be still for a moment and remind myself to look around without thinking a million things that have nothing to do with what’s right in front of me.

When I practice this, I can feel a noticeable shift in where I am. It’s fleeting, however, and I can’t make it last for more than a moment or two. Thoughts just want to wander on to the next thing, despite the really great thing right in front of you.

This is my view right now.   It’s one of my very favorite things, to look out onto beautiful ocean waters.  Last night I stood on our balcony for a moment and tried to breathe in the night a little, reminding myself that I am lucky.

Lucky to be here. On this ship. In this room. Surrounded by water – big water.  Yet room service is a click away.  With people I love and care about.

While I’ve been gone doing this, my family back home was saying goodbye to Our Girl HB, who died last week at the age of 24 from a chronic horrible-awful-we-hate-it-so-hard illness. I didn’t spend a lot of time in HB’s life – life got in the way. But this girl. Man, she was something special. She radiated brightness from within, and you wanted to know her and claim her as yours. I don’t say much about other people’s business on here, as that’s their stories to tell so we won’t get into a lot of detail, Reader. But my part of the story is, we lost a shiny star from our family this past week. It’s made my family that I love so much, and myself, sad and cry-ie.  I’ve felt badly that my trip collided with the celebration of her life, but I’m trying to stand still in my brain and really be grateful.

For what we had.

For what I have.

For in this moment is everything.


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