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The Bang Bang Theories

More Frosted-er

So I promised not to leave you without the conclusion of my sugar and flour fairytale, and it’s already the new year. Well, not quite, a bit of hyperbole, but almost.  Sheesh, I just can’t be trusted, Reader. I’m fifty, ya know. I’m slower and more forgetful and less wordy.

Because it’s been so long since the last post, you may have forgotten how many cakes we’d had, but I left off at Cake Count: 3, and also since that time I’ve added a few additional pictures to bore entertain you so you may want to go back there. It’s okay, I’ll be waiting for your right here when you get back. Plus, you can see a picture of my daddio, so bonus.

Okay now.  We were talking about the Month TBB Turned Fiddy and How Many Cakes She Ate and Also Why She Gained Six Pounds Last Month.

After I didn’t get to enjoy my Meh Get Well Cake, I didn’t need to fret, because more cakes were on the horizon. The visual of a horizon of cakes sounds yum…well, it would had I not almost OD’d on flour and butter and sugar and eggs in the past 30 days.

The week I turned Fiddy we had numerous dinners out during Celebration Week, and that always included some sort of cake.

This cake happened upon my lips and hips after dinner at the casino: img_2180

Cake Count: 4

Then my brother, who works at a fine-enough restaurant, ordered me an entire restaurant-sized cake for my own consumption, so now I didn’t even have to go out to celebrate, restaurant cakes were being brought to my doorstep.

Yes, that’s twelve gigantic pieces of chocolate dreams.


Cake Count: 5, or 16, if we’re counting each slice that could feed a small village.

And then the Actual Day I Turned Fiddy arrived. And there was more cake to celebrate me.

We had Work Cake:


Cake Count: 6

And then more Casino Cake, as my Fiddy Birthday Dinner Request was at the Fine Dining in the other Cleveland Casino, which really is in fact fine dining and where my very favorite sea bass dish is made, which was my birthday dinner request. Well, my actual birthday dinner request is Chicken Paprikash, made by my mom, which she made for me every year on my birthday as her recipe is one of my very favorite meals, but since that’s not possible I chose sea bass.


*This is what an over-caked fiddy year old TBB looks like. A little weary. Round. But smiling. 

While it was actually a giant brownie with ice cream and whipped cream, we’re still going to lump it into the birthday cake category, because my blog, my rules.

Cake Count: 7

You’d think that’s where it would end. You’d be wrong, Reader. Because the birthday extended well on into the weekend, and Joanne was determined to not let fiddy get by me without a white cake. As you can see, I’ve had a lot on the chocolate spectrum. White cakes matter, Reader. All cakes matter.

So Joanne provided her SECOND cake in thirty days, this time going with a new bakery because of the Hough Meh Cake Disappointment Incident of 2016.


This cake? Zero complaints, except from the waistband of my pants.

And that brings us to Cake Count: 8

You’d think that would be the end of the birthday cakes. You’d be wrong again, Reader.

Because it’s not a birthday until the hat is on the head. It’s our family tradition. And that tradition always includes an ice cream cake. fullsizerender-1

This year we had a little twist and it included peanut butter in the ice cream cake, which only added to the yum.  And yes, that’s not how you spell Trixie Bang Bang, but close enough.

Cake Count: 9

Oh. My. Frosting. Reader. It apparently takes nine cakes to turn fiddy.

Nine. Cakes.

I’ve gotta go now. Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers are both calling me.


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