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The Bang Bang Theories

Ready Or Not

Eh, one of my least-favorite days of the year is Spring Forward, Reader. I have very few awake hours as it is, and to lose one of them in a split-second flick of the clock is just rude.

It might as well be tomorrow already for as much day as I have left.

Of course, I got up at noon, because I went to bed at 4:00 a.m., which was already 5:00 a.m., so basically it’s not that I sleep a lot, I just sleep stupid hours. And alright, I feel the finger pointing, Reader, yes, I have been known to sleep a lot too. Sheesh.

But what I’m saying is, and let’s stick to the point here, sometimes I don’t even get the recommended 10 hours of sleep and half the day is gone by the time I get up. My body clock fights against a regularly scheduled workday, which is why I need you to help make me more famouser than Captain Kangaroo, Reader, so I can burn the midnight oils churning out words and nonsense and not have to get up and be more productive than moving my ass to a beach chair.

Basically my lack of productivity is your fault, Reader, as well as my subtle-yet-present headache I’ve had since yesterday due to lack of solid sleep. If you’d just work harder to make me famous, is all I’m saying. That sounds a little harsh, sorry not sorry about that. I normally don’t blame you. But I’m going on seven short hours of sleep, I’m out of my mind with fatigue.

Today DID have a brightside, Reader, once I did wake up to pee.

I saw I had a text message, and there was a box of fresh Jack Frost donuts hanging on my front door thanks to HNDYDAN, because obviously he thinks I’m skin and bones and need to fatten up so I stop looking sickly.  Or he’s getting me ready for my cruise, which is in a few short weeks, and he’s helping me prep for indulgent eating.  Regardless of the intent, these tasties were awaiting my mouf once I managed to get up at the crack of noon today:


So yeah. We started the day on a sugar rush of peanut-buttery deliciousness. Now I could sort of use a nap. This time change is hard. And a little bit mean.



One thought on “Ready Or Not

  1. The donuts look fabulous, coffee would be good also. Now lay back down and get your beauty rest for the cruise. At least you can get room service and they may put a catheter in so you won’t have to get up to pee.

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