Ready Or Not

Eh, one of my least-favorite days of the year is Spring Forward, Reader. I have very few awake hours as it is, and to lose one of them in a split-second flick of the clock is just rude.

It might as well be tomorrow already for as much day as I have left.

Of course, I got up at noon, because I went to bed at 4:00 a.m., which was already 5:00 a.m., so basically it’s not that I sleep a lot, I just sleep stupid hours. And alright, I feel the finger pointing, Reader, yes, I have been known to sleep a lot too. Sheesh.

But what I’m saying is, and let’s stick to the point here, sometimes I don’t even get the recommended 10 hours of sleep and half the day is gone by the time I get up. My body clock fights against a regularly scheduled workday, which is why I need you to help make me more famouser than Captain Kangaroo, Reader, so I can burn the midnight oils churning out words and nonsense and not have to get up and be more productive than moving my ass to a beach chair.

Basically my lack of productivity is your fault, Reader, as well as my subtle-yet-present headache I’ve had since yesterday due to lack of solid sleep. If you’d just work harder to make me famous, is all I’m saying. That sounds a little harsh, sorry not sorry about that. I normally don’t blame you. But I’m going on seven short hours of sleep, I’m out of my mind with fatigue.

Today DID have a brightside, Reader, once I did wake up to pee.

I saw I had a text message, and there was a box of fresh Jack Frost donuts hanging on my front door thanks to HNDYDAN, because obviously he thinks I’m skin and bones and need to fatten up so I stop looking sickly.  Or he’s getting me ready for my cruise, which is in a few short weeks, and he’s helping me prep for indulgent eating.  Regardless of the intent, these tasties were awaiting my mouf once I managed to get up at the crack of noon today:

So yeah. We started the day on a sugar rush of peanut-buttery deliciousness. Now I could sort of use a nap. This time change is hard. And a little bit mean.