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The Bang Bang Theories

Connect The Dots

Well, it looks like we’ve got ourselves a New Year, Reader, and as always, I am very optimistic, excited, and curious about what the year will bring.  I love a new year.  It’s just so full of promise.  I mean, sometimes it goes all haywire and does all sorts of cray shit, but then there’s always those wonderfully unexpected parts that I love to savor. 

Last year was of course my Year I Was Unemployed, and looking back it feels like one of my favorite years in a long long while. I reveled in being unemployed for the few months before I landed my new thang. 

But this isn’t a Musing-About-2015 post, that’s done all over the Internets so there’s no need for me to do it, too. Ya’ll know what-the-what I was up to anyway. 

What ya don’t know is this: I actually went to CHURCH on Christmas Eve.  Now THAT is a big deal around here, Reader.  I’m not particularly inclined to attend the organized religions. Over the years I have tried it and the best time I’ve really had was getting my spiritual blessings done by the Amma’s from India at a Unitarian Universalist church, in which I almost always refer to as the “utilitarian” church, and I’d beg to argue that this is actually a more fitting name.  

So yep. I found myself in a church on Christmas Eve, because My Mister’s mother needed the support as she’s getting churchy since her mama died in May.  It was really lovely, and had a hand bells musical thing going on, and I recited all the reciting things that they asked, and sang strong in my reserved-for-church-songs falsetto voice to all the music, and sat in the front row and respected the whole shebang. If Imma gonna go to church, Imma gonna do it all up right. 

Before we went, though, I asked My Mister for a churching favor.  

See, I’ve had a pimple on my nose for months now. MONTHS. It’s the Karma coming back to get me, Reader, no joke. Because years and years ago, my ex-husband had the marriage-ending affair with a person who had nose cancer which resulted in a divot in the side of her snorkel tube. And lashing-out Trixie wished her to get more nose cancers to the extent her whole damn nose and face would just fall off.  

People warned me to not wish cancer on others, even the cheater-types, because it’s not nice.  But there was just no telling me back then. Now, I didn’t make a pact with the devil or anything for her to get nose cancer again, but I said it in my head more than once.  

Fast forward 10+ years and some nose pimple just popped up on the side of my very own snorkel tube and just would. not. go. away. 

And then after more than a month it finally DID go away, and the very next morning I awoke and found someone new had moved into the nose-pimple-neighborhood and took up residence.  

Because I care about you, Reader, and plus I sort of owe you because it’s a new year and I really didn’t deliver my very important words to you nearly enough towards the end of last year, I’m sharing a picture to show you the nose karma – despite the not-a-stick-of-makeup, taken-just-now, nothing-pretty-to-see-here version of Trixie. 

This sort of puts me in the same category as the movie stars who take a picture of themselves without make up (but we can all see they have on eyeliner and brow stuff) and we’re all supposed to just be astounded by their bravery. So I guess you can call me a hero if you want, because I’m going to post this picture of my nose dot.

One of our cats, who’s proper name is Jessie, has two dots on his nose, and we found ourselves calling him Nose Dots or Nosey instead of his name, and now that’s sort of become his name.  And now I’ve been nicknamed Nose Dots as well, just around the house though. I don’t think I’m being called that out in public, but maybe.  Here it is. My very own Nosey Dot. 

Reader, are you beginning to feel I’m taking you on a rambling ride, how did we get from unemployment to church to nose dots?? Well, let me connect the nose dots for you.

As My Mister and I were getting dressed for our Christmas Eve churching, I had a very serious talk with him.  

Trixie: “Since we’re going to church, this is the perfect time to send up a special prayer.”

MM: “Okaaaaaay……”

Trixie: “I want you to pray with all your might and ask newborn baby Jesus tonight to heal my nose pimple and let him know that I take back all my cancer requests for the unfaithful. Because that’s not nice, and who cares, this nose dot has got to go.”

MM: “So. All the turmoil and strife in the world, and you want me to use up my prayer on behalf of your pimple?”

Trixie: “Yep. Glad we’re on the same page.”

And that’s what we both prayed for on Christmas Eve, and while it’s not completely gone away, it is getting smaller and flatter and maybe just maybe I won’t carry my nose dot with me all the way through 2016 and Karma will know I’m sorry for the nose cancer wish thing. I was a kid! It can’t be held against me forever, can it?!

But now I’ve got Jesus on it, so Karma really doesn’t stand a chance. 

One thought on “Connect The Dots

  1. You're my crazy card of a friend. Thanks for just being you Trixie! I wish you would write the humor book that so needs to be out in the world! YOU'RE A HOOT! AND I JUST WANT MORE PEOPLE TO KNOW IT. I have never met someone that can talk nonsense and make me laugh out loud. I'm usually too serious for that crap! But not with you. I ALWAYS laugh out loud at your antics, and that's just about the best compliment I can give- ANYONE! Cheers to a GREAT wacky-nose-dotless, 2016!

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