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The Bang Bang Theories

Plays the Bongos Naked

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! ———- typed in my best Matthew McConaughey voice. 

Enough of these excuses, Me, of not having any time – energy – inspiration to write up a story or two. 
Because believe me, I’ve had pee-lenty of things that deserved a story to be told.  But now the moment has passed and they will never have their moment of infamy. We’re going to play this one by the numbers, just to do it down and dirty. The way you like it, Reader. ~drops mic, walks off stage~
 ~comes back onstage, because the goods haven’t yet been delivered. Wherein “goods” is used in the very loosest sense of the word, because really that’s giving this post a little too much credit.~
Anyway. Back to the numbers.
1./ I’m officially old-ish. In the same day this week I picked up three prescriptions from the pharmacy and two pair of glasses from the Wal*Mart, one pair for up-close and one pair for driving so that I can avoid driving 7 MPH when it’s dark and rainy outside. Because for some reason that really angers a bunch of people behind me on the road. Why the rush, I ask. The folks that get all harrumph-y are probably the same folks who post “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey” bullcrap on their Facebook pages, making them seem all zen when actually they take out their frustrations on poor bad-visioned old ladies on the roadway.  The other factor that contributed to my old-ish-ness this week was I celebrated my thirty year high school reunion. The dirty thirty. So yeah. There I was with a bunch of old people. I’ve no doubt everyone else thought the same thing when they looked around the room and saw me. I saw me in pictures, Reader, and lemmee tell you, I made a big decision to start working out immediately. “Immediately” being defined as soon as I have the gumption after work, or can maybe get up early in the morning, so basically “immediately” means never, but it felt empowering at the time to make a strong proclamation.  Sometimes just saying it loudly and firmly is enough. 
2./ Two of the prescriptions I picked up that day were for acne. Yep. So basically my skin is regressing to adolescence in defiance to the grey hairs that seem to be fighting their way to populate my head more and more each passing month.  Or it could be that I’m eating like a teenager with unlimited access to take-out. Because my refrigerator? Has a lot of styrofoam containers in it right now.  I failed to grocery shop and that’s what happens.  Tonight I felt sorry for my insides and made myself a salad with the not-quite-browned lettuce that was hanging on for dear life in the fridge, to go with my slice of delivery pizza. Because see point #1, I’m dieting since my reunion. Or something. 
3./  I have a ton of middle-aged fun lined up for the next couple of months. Concerts and trips and long weekends. Bill Burr, Garth Brooks, a cruise. Put-in-Bay – yep, those are the fruits of middle-aged labors. See how I’m adding fruit to my diet right there, Reader? Because I’m a healthy fanatic, that’s why. 
4./ The new Walking Dead spin-off started this past Sunday and I had zombie nightmares. All. Night. Long. So yep, a great show. I will just never rest again on Sunday night. I’m fairly certain all that tossing & turning counts as exercise. 

Well, that’s a good starting point to for me to put out a little bit mid-week. We have to ease back into a routine slowly. It’s not the journey, it’s the destination.  Or something. I’ve gotta run, it’s late and I have to make plans for me to not get up and exercise in the morning. That’s right. I’ll make a big proclamation about how Morning Me will get up early and kick my own ass, but Evening Girl’s mouth writes a lot of checks Morning Me’s ass is not going to cash. But I feel better just thinking that maybe there’s a chance. I’m counting that as a “plus” on the workout side. 
———- Just keep livin’!!!!”
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