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The Bang Bang Theories

The Perfect Blend

Okay, now you’re really stretching it, Candle Namer. Because “Wild Bamboo”  – what are you going for here, exactly? 

How wild is this bamboo?  

Is it one-night stand wild, smelling like cheap motel sex, armpits, and shame?

Is it girls-gone-wild, and smells like tequila, titty-flashes, pee and bubblegum? 

Or is it frat boy wild, more boozy, beer, farts and mooning? 

Wild Bamboo’s friends, Trailing Ivy and Fresh Bergamot had better be there to hold her hair when she’s puking, or bail him out of jail. That’s what good friends do. 

I didn’t buy this, because my house already smells like farts and cheap motel sex. No need to pay extra for it, Reader. 

2 thoughts on “The Perfect Blend

  1. For a micro second I was so proud of you; thinking this was your morning green juice breakfast only to have my spirits dashed by a candle…sigh.

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