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The Bang Bang Theories

Haters Gonna Hate

I’m really jamming on that gol’darn T-Swift’s new song, Shake It Off. So much so, Reader, that I spent a whopping $1.29 + $0.10 tax on the dern thing to have as my ringtone, usurping Pink’s Raise Your Glass in the process. 

I don’t dole out the scratch very often on new ringtones. I don’t have my phone set up with different songs for different folks. I pick one and it rings for all, and I don’t change it often. I’m talking years, Reader – years (at least 2 years, anyway)!  So this was a big move for me. 

The other night my brother was over and I made him call me while we stood in the driveway together. 

Because since loading up my new song, not a single soul had called me. Several days had passed. That’s how popular I am. 


So once my new T-Swift ringtone rang, I broke into my dance moves I’d been saving up to do with that song, much to my brother’s dismay delight. 

He commented, “Well, maybe you’ll lose a little weight with all that song cardio you’re doing, if you can just get some people to call you.” 

I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it. So it was a slam, bam, thank you ma’am, with a double dose of insult right there – I’m fat, and a friendless loser.  That’s the beauty of brotherly love. We then went out and had big salads together. 

On to my next thing. 

Today I said this to my boss:

“I’m sorry, I just fingered your box, right after you got it all clean.” 

Then we looked at each other, and I ran out of her office.  

Sometimes context is everything, Reader. You’ve gotta know the context, or it just sounds – or looks – bad. 

Should I tell you the context surrounding that statement, or just let ya wonder? I think I’m done explaining myself for now, and will let you just enjoy it for what it is and make up your own scenario. Trust me, anything you can think up will probably be more fun that what was actually going on. In the meantime, I’ve got some new dance moves to choreograph.  

2 thoughts on “Haters Gonna Hate

  1. @Jackie – that is unfortunately the only song I like of her new album, so an unfortunate waste of $12.99.
    Trip was great – have you & Tracy been before??

  2. I have had that song in my head all week. Thanks for the laugh with the boss story! BTW's, my eyes are now green because of your trip!

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