Not too many weeks ago this was my view. I was standing right there, Reader. And now I’m sitting here, right at the kitchen table at Chez Bang Bang, procrastinating about pulling out my work laptop and writing strategies. Guess which day was more fun?
We had a super fun time on vacation. The sun only hated me a little bit this go-round, doling out a dose of bumpy sun poisoning when I got a little laissez-faire about applying ample doses of SPF 80, and choosing to let down my vigilant sunscreen application methods did not prove to be a good decision.
I also confirmed that I super hate swimming around in the ocean. The ocean is NOT a toy, and those mean waves tossed my old ass around like a disabled rag doll when I had had enough and wanted to go back to my umbrella-ed lounge chair. Had Joanne been video recording it, I have no doubt that Daniel Tosh would have phoned me for a chance at a web redemption. If you don’t get that reference, Reader, I can’t help you – you have to be responsible for keeping up with television so you can get my references. I can’t be responsible for it all, Reader.
Anyway. I’m much more of a lazy-river swimmer, where I plunk my ass in an inner tube and float around via water jet propulsion.
Oh, there’s so much more to say, Reader, but I really must go and write some work strategies. Stay tuned to find out what I bought while Drunk Souvenir Shopping. You won’t want to miss that one, because it just might have a little hint about what you’ll be getting for Christmas, Reader. Unless I don’t know you, then you probably won’t get it. Unless we do a Free GiveAway comment contest instead, which I’ve never done before but could be fun. Fun for someone, not necessarily you or I. But you could put in the name of someone you don’t really care for much and they would get a Drunken Souvenir surprise in the mail. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.