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The Bang Bang Theories

More Conversations With Kenny.

I have been off my pills since Thursday, and no good comes of it when I am sans anxiety meds. I didn’t realize how much Mr. Anderson annoys the piss outta me when I’m not medicated. He only annoys me with his lack of household motivation. It’s always about the house.

Anyway. While I was off on my tirade about his lack of proactively affixing the new toilet seat (that we purchased 2 months ago), I muttered something about, “I should have taken Eharmony up on their email offer for free dates this weekend.”

Eharmony sent me some email about free date opportunities for the Labor Day weekend.

Mr. Anderson & I met on Eharmony. I think they forgot to add the “harmony” part to our relationship…

Anyway, the following convoluted conversation ensued:

K: “Four free dates?? How does Eharmony know how many dates you’ll get in a weekend?”
T: “F-O-R, not the number 4.”
K: “Well, if you need more dates, why don’t you go for that guy you’ve been talking to lately? Your old boyfriend?”

Background story: My very first boyfriend, who took several of my virginities, connected with me via The Devil’s Website, a.k.a., Facebook, back in June. We’ve been chatting it up on the phone for the past several weeks (well, we’ve chatted twice, but over the course of a few weeks). He has some problems, has had a challenging life, and we just chat a bit here and there because I think he could use a friend and well, why not. We’ve done nakey things with each other, I loved him long time at one time.

He was my first head-over-heels love story. I was KaRAZY about him. I have no idea why we broke up, but who cares, I was 17, it was 2 husbands and many other lovers ago.

Back to the conversation.

T: “That’s the last thing I need, I don’t need another ne’er-do-well.”
K: “Ne’er-do-well? I’ve never heard of that word in my life”
T: “You are kidding, right? You are too dumb to date me.” (I told you, I need my pills. I’m impolite without them).

I Google it, let him hear the audible so he doesn’t think I’m the dummy, and read the definition to him aloud.

K: “So, it’s Never-do-well”
T: “No, it’s NE, then an apostrophe, ER, dash, d, o, dash, w, e, l, l. Ne’er-do-well. Not Never-do-well.”
K: “Ah, so it’s French.”

And then I burst out laughing, because he is funny and it sort of makes up for his lack of household ambition.

p.s. – he was joking on that last part. I hope.
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