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The Bang Bang Theories


Yesterday was my uncle’s funeral. He died this past Wednesday, in the same hospice where Kenny’s grandfather died in July.

The funeral was very poignant. There wasn’t a lot of religiosity to the event. My cousins wrote and recited personal stories, as did their husbands and some of the kids. It was very personal and meaningful. Much more so than a bunch of biblical passages, in my opinion. But then I’m not one to be much for the biblical passages.

My mother’s best friend, whom I haven’t seen since my mother died in 1995, was sitting next to my father when I walked in. I didn’t recognize her. Her face was familiar, but I didn’t know who she was in the context of this setting. She had read about my uncle’s death in the paper. I started shaking and crying when I realized who she was. I’ve missed her so, and didn’t know how deeply rooted in me she was until I saw her sitting there. She was such an important part of my childhood and teenhood, she is in so many memories of my life, my mother, and me. She started crying and we hugged so hard, I didn’t want to let her go. She hugged me back equally hard.

She quietly exited after the service, slipped out before I could say goodbye and my heart splintered a little when I realized she had gone without a word. But then, outside, my dad passed me a yellow slip of paper with her phone number, and the message to call her soon. We live close by. I want her back in my life.

My family is so fractured, I need her. She is my past, and one of the best parts of it.

So these types of encounters always lead me back to when I go for my spiritual blessings by Amma and Meera, who travel here from India teaching darshan. They dole out personal blessings, finding your deepest spiritual needs, and work to unravel the knots for you. I have had a lot of unravelled knots since I’ve been on the receiving end of their work.

“There is one truth that shines through all of creation. Rivers and mountains, plants and animals,

the sun, the moon and the stars, you and I—all are expressions of this one Reality.”

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