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The Bang Bang Theories

A Type-Oh!

Sunday night and I’m too tired to recap the week, but oh what a week it was!

1/ In & Out of Chicago. Pizza, hotdogs, John Hancock (I enjoyed emphasising the “cock” part), Garretts popcorn. Or some famous brand of popcorn, I’m pretty sure that’s close. All: good, great, fun, delish. Learned that the deep dish pizza at Antonio’s in Parma is as fantastic as Chicago’s. And it’s only five minutes away. Learned that hot dogs taste good with sweet relish and cucumbers. Learned that popcorn can never have too many almonds. Learned that your ears will pop on a forty second ride straight up 96 flights. Oh, and there was work stuff, too. I’m not thinking about any of that until Monday morning. It’s in the work vault.

2/ Stan gets a 2nd opinion on his butt Monday afternoon. The regular vet is out of options. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

3/ Riding in a 12-car passenger vehicle with bad shocks, in the waaaay back seat will result in an excruciating lower-back. I’ve been enjoying that since a return from Columbus on Wednesday. It was great going to Chicago with a back so stiff I walked like a hunch-backed old woman who just got done plowing the field in the Old Country. Sexy stuff, that’s me.

4/ I’ve found that if I did happen to be a lesbian, I have a type. She is round and thick-legged, with two-tone hair, gigantic (fake, I later learned) boobies, and a smiley friendly face. Kenny doesn’t understand my attraction to her, but did agree that she’s cute. Not that I am a lesbian – not that there’s anything wrong with it – I’m just sayin‘, if I WERE, I’ve found my type. I think everyone should know their type. That’s a good resolution for you out there. Identify your gay lover type.

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