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The Bang Bang Theories


I’m not mad anymore – hooray!! Maybe it had something to do with my hormones. Maybe. I’m not going to lay all the blame at my ovaries’ doorstep, some of it must reside with Mr. Anderson, but my hormones have been a bit askance since March when I … well… I … sorta fucked them up. There! I said it! I’m taking some blame here! I’m all grown up now, I guess.

The fucking-up of the hormones all began with my cruise in March. I thought I’d outsmart my lady parts and “trick” them into not having a period while I was on vacation, so I started taking some old old old packets of birth control pills I had lying about. Good idea, right? Right? So I did that, and nothing’s been quite the same since. The old trickster, that’s me. Tricked it right into being more irrational than ever. Cause now, now I get very interesting mood swings and things seem more dire than EVER at times, but then it can be all “Oh, Joy!!” like it is today. Today the world is nice.

But today is also my 25th high school reunion. I’m happy my hormonal ovaries are in a nice place. I have no more time to write nonsense, I have to leave shortly to start my appointments for the Big Reveal that begins at 7 p.m. First stop, hair. Next, makeup. Next, outfit. Manicure. You know,my “natural” look.

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