But! I did it! And when I got down there and saw the Natural Steps (read: scary, slippery sliding crooked stones that are just WAITING to catch you in an inattentive moment and catapult you to the bottom in a flash-second hurry), I almost didn’t go further. But then I asked myself my new Life Mantra: “If Not Now, WHEN?? If Not Me, WHO??” and I threw my pack to Joanne (she was already at the bottom, the big showoff) and I made my way to the bottom, threw on my watershoes (hey, I’m brave, but not crazy -there’s probably a lot of exotic biters living in that water that I don’t need to come into skin-on-skin contact with) and splashed around in the water. See: picture above again.
Snatch-crawling fish. Thanks, episode of House. These are Candiru fish, and while they “claim” to only be in the Amazon, how do we really know for sure?? And there’s *only* one documented case of one crawling up someone’s urethra, but what about the undocumented cases? So that’s the sort of horrible warnings that weigh on my mind and so I had to get out before something climbed on up there that wasn’t invited.
So then, yesterday during Father’s Day at Kenny’s parents house, I still had my feelings of bravado as I took a walk into their backyard for the very first time (it’s been five years, I finally worked up the nerve after trekking through a rain forest). They live in a half-million dollar house in Brecksville, and I’m still afraid of their wooded backyard. Doesn’t that help put my fear of the rain forest into clear perspective? But I went out there, because some kids were over and they told me how the backyard was filled with small baby frogs and I wanted to see it for myself. And oh, p.s., I was in flip-flops, ANYTHING have crawled right onto my bare skin out there, it was very risky. Then the 11-year-old girl came up to me with her hands cupped and I jumped back and shrieked at the top of my lungs, “DON’T SCARE ME!!!”, thinking she was going to throw something from *eeek* NATURE at me, but all she had was a teeny tiny baby frog in her hand that she wanted to show me.
I later caught their dad mocking me.
They think they’re going to get me to camp by the end of summer. I told them that instead, I was going to show their girls how to stay in a 5-star hotel and order room service and get extra shampoos.