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The Bang Bang Theories

Shamwowing My Way Back to Youth

Where the heck have I been?? Well, wouldn’t you like to know!! I’d love to regale you with stories, but I have just a moment before I must put myself to bed. I’ll sum it up. But first:

Did you know that today is Star Wars Day? May the 4th be with you.

Yes, I’ll be here all week, folks! Don’t forget to tip your waitresses. Now, on to other, even less important things.

I bought a new car!! Cutest. Car. Ever!! (er…in my price range. I’m sure there are cuter cars. In fact, I know there are. But ya know, what my little salary can afford – this is it!).

It’s been a time fraught with indecisiveness trying to figger out what to do. My lease is up soon, it was time to come up with something. I’ve been driving a Lexus SUV for 12 years, it was time for a change. My old car was a wide and comfortable ride, just like me! My new car is a sleek and fast ride – I’ve been working out so I can live up to the expectations of my car!

And now I need to invest in Shamwows, since I lost my mind and bought a black car. I’ve been wiping that thing off every effing day. And then? Some sappy flowers of some sort landed all over it and believe you me, it was no good time trying to clean that off. Kenny worked himself up into a froth and then I googled and found that hand sanitizer is good for removing sap, and sure enough, it is! Plus, it’s exterior is so sanitized you can walk right up and lick the car with confidence, should you so desire. But please, wipe off the smudge.

I was in Atlantic City over the weekend with my girlfriendie. It was much fun.

On Thursday I fly to Denver for a quick overnight business trip.

Next Friday they are having a private burial for my grandmother. We’ll be heading to Southern Ohio for that, and of course Kenny has suggested we stay at the Wheeling Downs Casino while we’re in the neighborhood.

Vegas after that. Then, the month wraps up with a week-long cruise to the Southern Caribbean with my other girlfriendie. It’s a tough life, but someones gotta live it.

And at least you’ll now know why I will be giving splotchy blog. There’s so, so much more I could say, but it’s 11:25 and I’ve got a bizzy day ahead. And I’ve got to come down off my high from watching Lost tonight. It’s been a great t.v. week, last night with Jack Bauer breaking all sorts of badass all over the place, and now Lost killin‘ off peeps right and left. Crazy good t.v.

Oh! And tomorrow is one of my favorite holidays – Cinco de Mayo!! I love any holiday that celebrates with margaritas and cheesy enchiladas. And salsa, don’t forget the salsa! I was telling Kenny that my two favorite holidays are Cinco de Mayo and Daylight Savings Time. But only the time in the Fall, where we get an extra hour of bartime (back in the ‘day, that mattered more) and now I look forward to the extra hour of sahweet sahweet sleep. Which reminds me of what my beloved said to me when I was debating the convertible: “You know, you’re holding on to whatever youth you have left, and believe me, it’s not much, so just get the convertible.”

And….good night.

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