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The Bang Bang Theories

This Is My Life.

Scene: A Sunday afternoon conversation, after returning home from shopping at Walmart and BJs for whatnot and cat litter.

Kenny, as we put away our purchases: “How much do you think a person shits in the course of a lifetime?”

After some thoughtful consideration from me, “Oh, a houseful, for sure, if it was all stacked up. Maybe even a football field – YEAH, a football field, stacked up to the goal posts! I’m sure it’s at least that much.”

Kenny, “Well, just hear me out now, stay with me on this” as he’s holding a shoe box in his hand. “A weeks worth of shit, three times a day (yeah, right, like a girl ever poops three times a day, what fantasy land are you living in!), would probably fill this shoebox. Multiply this shoebox by 52 weeks in a year, and then by 80 years – there’s NO WAY that would fill up a football field.”

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