Not content with frittering away his time on countless movies, video games, social networking sites and endless gambling trips, Mr. Anderson discovered an even more impressive use of his time: Perfecting the flawless execution of tic-tac teeth:
He impressed me with this skill over beer and BLT’s at our #1 local hangout, Moe’s. Yes, he can perfectly position tic-tacs that have had the color sucked off to look exactly like hillbilly teeth. Folks, if you’re not impressed with this amazing feat alone, let me assure you he did this all WITHOUT HANDS. Nothing but tongue and lips. I know you’re now dully (no, that’s not a typo; it’s a clever pun on my part) impressed.
Hands off, Ladies. He’s taken.