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The Bang Bang Theories

Rubbed One Out

Lupe* Screwed Us. There’s reason to believe that she stole my jar of 16 spice poultry rub which was purchased from Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill in Las Vegas. That, or ghosts follow me with the sole intent to play little jokes.

All I know for a fact is: 1/ I purchased two jars of 16 spice rub and one cookbook after dining at Mesa Grill in Las Vegas on Saturday. 2/ There were two jars in the bag when I left it on the table in my hotel room. 3/ There was one jar of 16 spice poultry rub and one cookbook in the bag when I packed to go home on Sunday. 4/ Lupe Screwed Us.

I saw her, said hello, and left her a tip on Saturday, with the intent to leave her more on Sunday. Plans changed after I realized Lupe Screwed Us. Kenny’s not convinced she did, but I know what I know. Two jars of rub became one overnight, and only one other person was in the room (well, not counting the hookers….).

We didn’t complain to the front desk, because I don’t really want Lupe to have her job in question over a $10.76 jar of seasoning, but really. What’s the point of that. I would think that we just misplaced it or something (it’s been known to happen with me, I don’t deny it!), but we weren’t there long enough for anything to get misplaced. And I only took it out of the bag once, to try to read the ingredients. My old eyes, however, resist reading the fine print anymore. Guess they figure they’ve worked hard enough and just aren’t straining themselves anymore.

So Lupe Screwed Us, but I think $10 was worth the laugh we had at the thought of our poultry rub getting stolen. Of all things lying about the room, for Chrissake. Better the rub than the Rolex. I wish Lupe and her family very flavorful meat this holiday season.

*Lupe: see Seinfeld Chambermaid episode

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