Well, hello there, long lost friendie! We are totally spending far too much time apart.
Have you ever just been bone-weary tired, Reader? I mean, the deep kinda tired, that seeps right into your middles? That’s the tired I have been lately.
Maybe it’s all the extra walking I’m getting, but seriously probably not that. Exercise is supposed to release some endorphins and make you all hopped up. Instead for me, opposite.
And I’m mostly mad about all the steps. Just the other day my friendie asked me how all the walking was going. While we were finishing up a pitcher of margaritas and eating cheesy Mexican food.
Friendie: “So how are you feeling with all that exercise you’ve been doing?”
Trixie: “Mostly, I’m fucking annoyed by it! I march around the neighborhood pissed off about it. I have to take three goddamn walks – and not quick ones – to reach this re-damn-diculous goal I voluntarily put upon myself. I have to spend two fucking hours a day WALKING – which is time I’d much rather spending TV-ING – to reach these step goals.”
Friendie: “You’re such an inspiration.”
However! I recently dug out this cycling thing I purchased when I had more money than sense, and I’ve set it up in front of the tv and I can now PEDAL my way to my goals while I’m watching 90-Day Fiance, so BOOM! Take that, step goals! It’s my new secret weapon.
Now, it’s still annoying. But a lot less annoying than realizing I need to go walk around the block in the fucking dark OR ELSE.*
*there is no actual “or else” – just the pressure I put upon myself.
So at this point you may be thinking
1/ “Gee, I liked it better when she wasn’t writing grouchy, complainy shit.”
or
2/ ” Surely by now Trixie has to be reaping these exercise benefits! and has toned up and trimmed down with all those miles she’s put under the rubber.”
To which I respond
1/ you get what you get
2/ 93.8 miles. 243k+ steps. Since April 1st. Same exact fat. Which I’m sure has exactly nothing to do with a pitcher of margaritas and cheesy Mexican food. That’s not how calories work.*
*’it’s exactly how calories work.
Thank you for joining me on my TED Talk. Stay tuned for the next inspirational message that focuses on why I’m unhappy that my house is always dirty, yet I don’t want to spend any time actually cleaning my house.