I wish the facts of life 1. included Blair, Tootie and Jo over here at Chez Bang Bang because wouldn’t that be the most fun with us roller-skating around and please stop in anytime, George Clooney, and also I’ve often felt like Mrs. Garrett in the workplace, imparting a bunch of wildish kids with my sage wisdoms, and 2. that the facts of life were that I’ve been off doing Super Fun Things and that’s why I’m not here with you.
But the facts facts are, I’m just tired of being on screen all. the. time. Every workplace event is online, and books I’m reading are on my phone, and tv I’m watching is on a giant screen and then I just don’t want to sauce up the computer for a story, although believe you me, I do have Things To Tell.
So let’s just do a medium recap of what’s what around here.
First, I went to the art museum for the first time ever here in OH, and that’s a shame that I’ve never been here before.
But here’s a little insight into some of my neurosis:
I’m oft times hesitant to drive in areas where the cool things reside. I don’t like driving in unknown areas, or making left turns that don’t have a safe-and-secure red-light-stop-green-light-go-even-better-if-you-get-a-pointing-turn-arrow to tell you exactly when to step on the gas. And I hate round-abouts and will find any way to avoid a round-about and almost didn’t take a job once because I had to navigate a round-about every single day I went to work. Except then I got good at that one, but not all round-abouts are the same so I’m not good at all of them, just this one.
So yeah. Moving to Florida worked for me only because it is a super-easy state to traverse. Straight shots to just about anywhere, and you can hop on the A1A and that’s even the scenic route that gets you where you need to go.
I got acquainted with the art museum because my brave driver friendie drove and then we looked at all the non-screen things and it was glorious.
Also, I’ve decided I’m going to paint a replica of this:
Second, in Things That I’ve Been Doing When I’m Not Here:
I hosted a champagne brunch in September with a handful of girls and I just frankly love entertaining and it was a classy reason for Day Drinking, which I also love. Champs for brekky = yes.
It was a good opportunity to connect with some girls I don’t have the opportunity to see all the time, and eat good food and cheers to us and isn’t what what’s important in life?
I’m grateful I have my nephew’s Youthful Legs here as he does a lot lot lot of the up-and-down-stairs-carrying-things for me.
Yesterday, same nephew motivated me to go for a walk in the woods, and holy-mother-of-fuck my hips and legs hurt. I’m talking two-Aleve-and-a-half-a-gummy hurt.
I was showered and lying down by 7 p.m. and then I was wide awake at 3 a.m. and I almost got up but that was crazy talk so I talked myself into re-sleeping.
And then I’ll blame the half a gummy, because when I woke up this morning I didn’t know if my dream was a real thing that had happened and I had to point-by-point do a life vs. dream replay to understand if I really went to a sorority house last weekend with a neighbor and took a bunch of Italian purses to sell on eBay.
I did not, in case you were wondering. I didn’t visit any sorority house with a neighbor nor take still-with-the-tags Italian purses. But lemme tell you, it was vivid and I can see how tricky the mind can be.
I’ve been reading through a book called The Body Keeps the Score, and it’s insightful and probably also why I don’t like driving in tricky areas – my tricky mind is keeping a lot of scores, mostly around almost killing myself in a car accident back in the times when I myself had youthful legs. See, I just therapied myself right here.
But back to my walk in the woods and why everything on my lower body was ouchy. We did walk a mountain bike trail and it was a lot of ups and downs and all I know for sure is, I’m not getting better, Reader, I’m getting older.
As we are all aware, Meta has super mind-reading powers and all I’ve been getting lately are ads for stretching and also a new place opened not too far from where I live and it offers some sort of people-stretching-you classes and it sounds delicious and I may treat myself to that soon.
Is it too late to be more bendy?? Is it, Reader?
I don’t know.
I guess the only way to know of sure is to make a plan and start. Beginning is Now. Brooke Shields has some business motivation thing called Beginning is Now and I like the sentiment.
So maybe that’s the plan today. Begin.
Right after I copy-cat paint a Monet.